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10 Things I Hate about College Dating

College is hard, and dating doesn’t make it any easier. On top of classes, jobs, internships, and friendships—our human tendencies to develop love-type feelings make our lives a total balancing act. It’s not difficult to see why many people try to stray away from relationships in college, but for hopeless romantics (like myself...sometimes), we find ourselves in a bit of a masochistic situation.

Here are ten (and definitely not all) things I hate about dating in college.

 

1. Fear of the Unknown

In college, we meet a lot of smart people: they know their math, they know their English. The one thing they don’t seem to know is how to communicate. Does he like me? Does he want to hook up? Does he want more? There’s almost never a straight answer and it scares the sh*t out of me. Every time I’m left wondering where exactly we are and what exactly he’s thinking. All can be resolved if I just open my mouth and ask, but that’s a whole other thing I hate about dating.

 

2. Expiration Dates

We’re in our undergrad years, enjoying (what’s supposed to be) some of the best times of our lives—but what happens after graduation? What happens to the relationship I spent quarters working on, when after graduation he and I are moving back home to our respective towns?

 

3. “The Talk”

It doesn’t matter which talk it is, we all know they all suck—especially if we have to call it “the talk”. Talks are nerve-wracking, and sometimes we have to be adults and let out what’s on our minds (see #1). Communication is key, but why do I have to be the keyholder?

 

4. That College “Tidiness”

Let’s face it, most guys (and some girls) are extremely messy when they move out of their parents’ house. Clothes are everywhere, books are everywhere, dishes are everywhere. With all the stress of college, sometimes they (but I really mean we) forget to check up on the tidiness of their rooms. Sure, at first it doesn’t seem like a huge deal—but once that comfortable phase hits, going over to his place becomes more of just an awkward encounter with the dirty boxers and old snacks lying out in his room.  

 

5. Roommates

Need I say more? There is little-to-no privacy when he’s living on DP with about fourteen other guys, at least one of them in the same room as him. We could go to my place, but I (like many others) live with several other roomies too. There’s only so many times you can sexile your roommates before they hate you.

 

6. Options

Pretty much the entire inspiration behind the “college hookup culture” is the desire for people to keep their options open. People love “talking” to several options at once, so they’re never bored or tied down. All I know is that it leads to trouble and/or heartbreak, whether you’re the one with the options or you’re one of the options. Exclusivity is hard to find in college, people.

 

7. Great Expectations

We hear it all the time in movies or from our married friends and family members. We met in college, we were studying the same thing! We were in the same ___ class!...and other clichés like that. If other people can find that, where is mine? Raising my expectations that way only sets me up for a harder fall to disappointment when I talk to yet another guy and realize we don’t have long term potential of any sort.

 

8. “I don’t know what I want”

If I was paid minimum wage for every time a boy told me they didn’t want to be in a relationship with me (or in general) using these exact words, I could probably quit my job. It’s understandable, we’re in a sensitive part of our lives where we have no idea what we’re supposed to be doing or what’s coming next. Just the sheer amount of times I’ve heard this stupid line is why I hate it so much.  

 

9. Labels

Guys aren’t extremely creative until it comes to putting a label on whatever you guys are, and the what are we talk is a can of worms no one wants to open (see #3). Whether it’s friends with benefits, f*ck buddies, cuddle buddies, just friends, or boyfriend/girlfriend. Every. Label. Sucks. For some reason, every and all labels come with consequences.

 

10. Peaking

Yes, I hate all of the above. However, this may very well be as much fun I’m going to have with dating, like, ever. The drunken hookups, the friends with benefits, the messy sharing-Freebirds-nachos-after-a-night-out. Most of these probably won’t be acceptable for me to do once I’m out of college, let alone in my late twenties. If this is as fun as it’s going to get, then there’s pressure to have a ton of reckless twenty-year-old fun while I’m here.

 

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Kristine is a 3rd year Chemistry major at UC Santa Barbara. She was born and raised in San Francisco, CA. When she's not writing, she works with her sister to create adorable baked delicacies for The Royal Icing, their at-home bakery. She's also a ballerina, lipstick enthusiast, and bunny lover. Post-graduation, she plans on going to graduate school while continuing her writing career. Catch her on instagram @CookiesForKay  
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