Let’s start with what I like about dating apps. First, you can’t send or receive pictures. It is not like guys are sliding into your Instagram DMs with X-rated photos that you just can’t unsee. And, it also means that guys can’t be begging for photos you just can’t stop saying no to. Dating apps are also easy enough to use (although they do sometimes malfunction) and you can report users for inappropriate behavior. Tinder has actually asked me when certain phrases or words pop up in a conversation if I am uncomfortable and would like to report those users. Some social media platforms, however, do not seem to be quite as on the ball with keeping those internet creeps at bay. Reporting them does little good when they still seem to be able to slide into the next unfortunate girl’s DMs.
So I guess that makes two things I like about dating apps… But that’s it.
Now for the things I could live without.
Those weirdos who would slide into your Instagram DMs? They are the same guys who will ask for your Snapchat right away and send you one nude or five before you block and report them. That does not really matter though, when they can just create yet another Snapchat account to bother you with.
That’s really a surface issue, though. When you dig down into the nitty-gritty of the dating app life, do the conversations actually go anywhere? So you send a few texts, then move on to awkwardly meet each other? Bio writing is just impossible. How can 200 characters describe everything I want someone to know about me in some funny, charming way that makes them swipe right?
Most of the messages I receive are either gifs, the word “hey” or some dehumanizing sexual component that I never respond to. I am not the greatest conversationalist and even when texting my friends I’ll forget to respond to texts. So, trying to make interesting conversation with a random guy that I doubt I’ll ever meet? Maybe that’s why I open the app, swipe left a few times and then go to check my messages. I usually open them up, close the app without responding and then take a nap.
I guess maybe that’s why I go on the apps for just the occasional ego boost and I am more likely than not to ghost the next guy to message me. It is hard to have that 5000th conversation with a person and try to make it more than the kind of awkward small talk you’d have with a stranger you were forced to sit next to at a wedding. “So… what’s going on in your life now?”
And herein lies the reason I am even talking about any of this. Everyone is on Tinder; no one is on Hinge. There is a different mix on Bumble than you would get on the original match.com and has anyone even heard of some of the other ones? The real question, though, is this: why am I on dating apps? I don’t think I’m going to meet the love of my life by swiping right on the 5001st guy I see on there. It is stressful, nerve-wracking and sometimes just something to laugh at. Dating apps are not an end-all or something I even take seriously.
But I will admit, it is always nice to hear that someone else thinks I am pretty. It does not matter that all too often it is the drunk guy at 3 AM who wants to know if I’m still up. Compliments are compliments, and they’re always nice to hear. To end on a slightly higher note: at least the last creep on Tinder you ghosted could never send you a nude pic.