As an avid watcher of reality TV and someone with social media, the term “girls’ girl” seems to be permanently etched into my brain. I almost feel like the term has been weaponized as a way to establish moral superiority over girls. Rather than pitting ourselves against each other, I think we should take the time to think about how we can uplift each other instead.
Looking back on all the incredible women that have shaped who I am has given me insight on what a REAL girls’ girl should be, and how important it is to cherish those connections.
I owe my mindset on the importance of female friendships to the strongest, most enduring bond of my life: my close relationship with my mom. For as long as I can remember, my safe place has always been baring my soul to her, from the passenger seat of the car to curled up under a blanket together. Not only did she teach me about Clueless, the greatest film ever made, but she showed me how to find power in my femininity and to embrace the other girls in my life with open arms.
My vision of what a true girls’ girl should be was cemented during my four years at an all-girls’ high school. From my experience at UCLA, telling people this fact usually is met with the immediate follow-up question of “so how was THAT?” and the expectation that I have endless horror stories to share. The reality is that growing up in an overwhelmingly female environment actually did wonders for my personal growth.
But wasn’t it cliquey? Sure, at times — but what high school isn’t? Overall, my biggest takeaway was the fact that by being surrounded by other teenage girls, my friends and I were allowed to become the most authentic, confident versions of ourselves both inside and outside of the classroom. I learned that the outside world was hard enough on teenage girls, so the best thing that we could do within the safety of our little bubble was to love and support each other every single day.
I’ve once again found a community of strong, inspiring women by joining my sorority at UCLA. Being supported by so many driven women has taught me the most important aspect of what a girls’ girl should be: someone who celebrates the achievements of other girls just as much as their own. I can confidently say that these women have changed my college experience for the better and given me a space to thrive.
Being a girl is full of unique contradictions, but the nice thing is that you never have to deal with girlhood on your own. The greatest joys of my life have come from being surrounded by like-minded women who push me to be the best version of myself. I couldn’t be more grateful to have known and been loved by some of the greatest women I’ve ever known. So rather than calling someone out for not being a girls’ girl, think about all the people in your life that are.