As fans of artists, we often forget that the people who raised them are stars too! After interviewing Valerie Lacy, I feel that her life could certainly be a movie (and a successful one at that).
After personally meeting both Steve and Valerie this past December, it’s clear that Steve had a strong support system that allowed him to reach fame, but Steve Lacy did tell his mom that she could have done one thing differently in her life that would have helped in his rise to stardom. In this exclusive interview, we discussed raising Steve Lacy, living in Compton, her role as a nurse, and the journey of motherhood.
valerie lacy on Raising Superstar, Steve Lacy
Steve going into entertainment was a surprise since he was shy.
“I didn’t think he would like entertainment. I didn’t think that for him. I just knew he was different; he was serious, he was like an old person. I don’t know. He was very serious, he had an old soul. He knew a lot of things very early.”
Lacy also knew allowing her kids to fully express themselves was important.
“I think my remedy for my kids was letting them know they matter, and should follow their goals, dreams, and aspirations. Like, ‘Oh, you like this?’ And just introducing them to different things and seeing what their niches are. Because I’m a firm believer that all children know why they’re here and we’re here to facilitate it. But a lot of times as parents, we manipulate that to fit our trajectory. When they were growing up, I allowed them to express how they felt, because I felt that was important. And then with Steve, he was a boy, so they expressed things a little bit differently than girls that I wasn’t used to because we’re a female-dominated family.”
motherhood
“I was a teenage mom, so I ended up going to a teen school. But that was the best thing that could have ever happened to me because I have the gift of yap, if you haven’t noticed by now.” We both chuckle.
Time with her kids was really important.
“Having that balance to live where it’s affordable and give my kids the best I can give them without being all crazy and having to work extra jobs. I taught at Cal State Dominguez for eight years, the nursing program. I was a professor there, for just adjunct though, because I still worked my full-time LA County job. But it was really nice, and it didn’t take me away from my kids too much. What’s important was family and community.”
Don’t follow your Plan B
Valerie shared a valuable lesson from Steve about success and chasing your passion.
“I told Steve, ‘you know I wanted to be an actress, right?’ He goes, ‘Yeah.’ He said, ‘Mom, you’re good at what you do. He said, you’re so good, but you made one mistake.’ I’m thinking, he’s being disrespectful. And so, I listened to him, but I was like this (insert serious face). He goes, ‘You didn’t put all your efforts into plan A. You put some in A, you put some in B. That took away some of your effort from plan A.’ He said, ‘I’m young. I have time. Right now, I’m going to put ALL MY EFFORTS in plan A.'”
“Later, he asked, ‘do you have money for my college?’ I said, ‘Well, I have money put away, but it’s not for college, it’s for your first home.’ He said, ‘Yeah, I was thinking.’ I said, ‘Thinking what?’ ‘I’m going to defer this college thing for a while.’ Because my thing was, you’re going to college. You’re going to do this. That was my thing. And I said, ‘You’re going to defer college?’ He goes, ‘Yeah. I’m going to pursue this music thing.'”
“And I was like, so in my mind, I was negative. I’m honest. I said, well, he’ll see. He’ll see. I never got a chance to do it because he showed me, and I’m glad he didn’t allow me to limit him that way, and I’m glad I didn’t persist in doing that.”
“Then he got his first Grammy nomination with the Internet. And then I was like, this is serious. I’m going to sit back for the ride. I’m still riding. Here we are.”
the passion for music has always been there
“I believe music was his saving grace. We played country western, mariachi music, we listened to all types of music.”
This message was especially clear when Lacy shared a personal story from Steve’s baby days. In the car, Valerie played a children’s music CD for nine-month-old Steve, who was a thumbsucker. As they drove, her older daughter changed the music to something else, prompting Steve to scream as if in pain. Concerned, Valerie pulled over to check on him but found nothing wrong. When she realized Steve only calmed down when the children’s music was playing, she quickly put it back on, realizing the music brought him peace.
Life Since Lacy Became a Household Name
“People are a lot nicer to me and want to get close to me, and so it’s a blessing and a curse because you have to try to figure out, okay, why are you coming over here? Because women my age love him, too. One time, my friend’s daughter had a show. She goes to Cal State Dominguez, and they have so much talent up there. I enjoyed it. At the end of the show, there was a long line of people to take pictures with me.”
Favorite Song of Steve’s
“Only If! Michelle Obama likes that one, too. And I get it.”
“Sometimes we feel so unique in the circles that we run in, not knowing that if we go beyond those circles, there are people that can relate to us, and we’re normal. You’re normal in your authenticity. And that song, Only If, reminds me of that. I’m glad he came up with that song because overall, a lot of generations can relate to it. It ties into that old soul of his.”
BTS of The Glitz & Glamour of the Grammys
First Grammys experiences: “It was really sad. You know, I’m going to share this. This is very vulnerable for me. All the other Grammy nominations, like when he got nominated for Ego Death in 2016, I dressed, I went and I had friends to help. The second time, I think Gucci was supposed to dress us, but Steve had gone overseas or to Europe somewhere, and he bought something there. So mama had to figure it out, compliments of a boutique on Amazon. I thought I was looking pretty fire. It was a silver halter top with a blue jean skirt. People stopped. They were like, ‘Oh, she looks gorgeous.’ But it wasn’t like the outfit was good. It was how I was wearing it with such pride. ‘Who are you wearing?’ I told them, ‘Amazon?'”
Flash forward to 2023: Steve told her, “‘Saint Laurent is dressing us.’ I’m like, I don’t know how to say it. I didn’t know what to feel or what to expect. I’m like, ‘Well, do I pay something?’ It was just weird. It was weird because, okay, so I get there, and they’re acting like I’m a celebrity or something, and I wasn’t comfortable with that attention. And I’m like, it made me want to cry. It made me sad. Like, why can’t I receive this goodness? Why can’t I receive this honor? What’s wrong with me? This should be the happiest day of my life. And they’re measuring me and offering water and, oh, it was just all this wonderfulness, and I was scared. I felt that they were doing too much. I felt like, I don’t deserve to be here. This is for my son, not me. It was hard, and I remember just feeling really sad, like, why? You know? It wasn’t a good feeling. So I shared it with a few people to see what was wrong. Why did I feel that way? This should have been a happy time for me.”
Therapy is a process, but it helps. “Luckily therapy helped; it took work to get to that point of feeling [that I] deserve this, too. It was a process, and it shocked me because that was not what I was expecting, but I couldn’t control the inadequacy that I felt being treated so well. That means I need to do more work.”
Community of Compton
“Well, I was born and raised in Compton, and it’s so funny to see the changes in the demographics, how they changed.”
“But Compton is my home, and it’s still my home. A lot of my friends, they’ve moved to other places, ‘nicer’ places I mean, you know. But I decided to stay here. My class reunion, we just had our, I think it was our 40th. We’ve lost some people along the way. A lot of people say, ‘Well, how do you still know these people?’ I said, ‘We just never lost contact. It’s like a family.'”
I asked, “Do you think Compton shaped Steve as an artist?”
She replied, “I do, because of the way my classmates, the way the community supports him, and they’re so proud of Steve. They call him their boy because he represents Compton.”
Shooting Scare
“One day, [my kids] probably were about maybe three/four years old, and I decided I’m going to put the pool out front. I had my middle daughter out with them and I was looking out the window and I said, it’s about time for them to come in. And then by the time they came in, my daughter brought the kids into the house. Before she closed the door, this guy came shooting right at the corner. He wasn’t shooting at anything in particular, just shooting. I’m just like, okay, no more front yard for us for a while. It was just a lot of that. I didn’t like that aspect of things. But overall, I said, ‘We’re going to be okay’. We were okay, and I’m still here.“
Nursing
Valerie Lacy works for LA County Public Health and went to a program called Nurse-Family Partnership. It’s a program that serves first-time moms, and “follow them from pregnancy until the kid is two years old. [It was] one of my favorite jobs. I loved it so much because I was a teenage mom, so I can share some of the knowledge I got because I made mistakes. I wish I could have had a nurse to guide me through that. I graduated in ’94. I took boards in ’95. So [I’ve been in nursing] since ’95.”
Her resume is stacked with RN, BSN, MSN, MPH, CLE. As someone with firsthand knowledge of nursing school education, she is a hustler!
upcoming 2024 Show: She’s Putting Time Into Plan A
She will perform in a show at the Hudson Theatre this summer, so stay tuned to see her live! “It’s going to be at the Fringe Festival at the Hudson Theatre. Who in the world is Valerie Lacy? She’s still trying to figure it out.”