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Things My Female Relationships Have Taught Me

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCLA chapter.

English singer and actress, Suki Waterhouse, once said, “When you’re a young woman in your 20s, I don’t think there’s any getting out – you know it’s the trenches.” And she did not lie.

Any woman in her 20s, especially her early 20s, would agree.

Being in your 20s is a weird space to be in; it’s like you can almost feel your frontal lobe forming. Every point in our life up until now has been “pivotal” in our adolescence, but this time period feels the most important, for some reason. I like how 10 years of our life is grouped into this time period, another coming of age (maybe our last coming of age? Will we ever come of age? What’s going on?).

Thankfully, I know something that has sustained me: the women in my life that have rallied behind every true “pivotal” moment in womanhood. 

Never sleep with your makeup on.

Any woman that I’ve ever spoken to has always, for some reason, told me to never sleep with my makeup on. Which can be hard to do, believe it or not. Especially as a woman in your 20s, when sometimes, you make it home after an outing and the only thing you can think of is your bed and the leftovers in your fridge. 

When it’s my turn to take care of my friends, I ask them where their makeup remover is so that they can relax in the morning knowing their pores aren’t angry with them for forgetting to take their makeup off. I learned to do this because it was done for me, and as someone who does not joke about her night time routine, it’s one of the nicest things my girlfriends can do for me.

You don’t have to wash your hair everyday, but do wash the rest of your body

I remember in middle school when my friend first introduced me to dry shampoo. She said it was her must after P.E. Honestly, that is still one of my core memories, because when I discovered dry shampoo, my life became a little easier. Instead of washing my hair everyday (which you shouldn’t), I can just spray some dry shampoo and be able to get by for a couple of days. BUT you should take full body showers every night. I also heard from people who have grown out their hair that they don’t wash it for as long as they can; my hair has never been longer/healthier! 

Self Love/Respect 

One of the many things that my female friendships have taught me is how to love and respect myself the way I do my friends. I would never put down my friends or criticize them, so why would I speak to myself that way? I’ve learned from their expectations, as well; for example, if a man wants to pursue me, he will be courting me, as I don’t tolerate nuances, and neither should you! You deserve respect and effort. 


Loyalty can look like a lot of things. Loyalty looks like defending your friend in public but correcting them in private. It also looks like going to their house in the middle of the night because they are going through a breakup. Loyalty looks like going to a play that your friend has been talking about being a part of and sitting in the front row.

How to feel (difference between men and women)

My female friendships have taught me the difference between masculine energy and feminine energy. I cherish the friendships I have made with my guy friends, but they will never compare to the intimacy, value, and depth that my female friendships carry. I love being up until three in the morning, talking to my friends about things that keep us up at night like our dreams and fears. There’s an understanding among women that I believe and trust in. 

Odette is a first-generation Mexican-American senior completing her undergraduate degree at the University of California Los Angeles. This is her first year on the HerCampus editorial team and is super excited about being able to improve her portfolio and experience as a writer. Outside of HerCampus Odette enjoys reading books of fiction and writing songs and poetry.