So you think you’re a girl’s girl? Whether you’ve overheard it in a coffee shop or seen it in Hailey Beiber’s TikTok comments, you’ve probably found yourself wondering if you fit the description of a girls’ girl.
But what exactly is a girls’ girl? Because the term hasn’t quite found its way into the Oxford English Dictionary just yet, we’ll go with the Urban Dictionary definition: “a girl who is not petty and strives to be ethical and decent in her dealings with her female friends”.
But this definition really doesn’t encapsulate the actual experience of being a girls’ girl, does it? Luckily for you, I’ve put together three situations to test your girls’ girl IQ:
- Great Ex-Pectations
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You’re out with a group of your friends and run into a mutual friend, Lucy. Lucy just broke up with her long-term boyfriend two weeks ago and is trying to distract herself with a girls’ night out. Even though you and Lucy aren’t super close, you two hit it off and dance the night away. Lucy ends up confiding personal details about the breakup to you, and you make plans to get lunch the following weekend.
The next morning, you wake up with a DM from Lucy’s ex asking to get coffee. You’ve never met him before, but he has a bunch of IG mutuals with you — plus, he’s exactly your type. The whole thing seems a little out of the blue… is it a sign from the universe that you’ve finally found Mr. Right?
It’s not exactly a date, is it? But what would your new friend Lucy think? So…are you responding to the DM?
Okay, so this situation was definitely inspired by the Halley Kate/Sophia La Corte drama from December. Anyways, let’s check your girls’ girl meter.
If you’re responding to the DM, you may need to reconsider if you’re a girls’ girl. Because Lucy just told you all the deets about her breakup, she’ll probably feel like you broke her trust by hanging out with her ex. While grabbing coffee doesn’t automatically imply date, going out of your way to hang out with a guy you’ve never met may scream “date” to Lucy.
If you didn’t immediately respond to the DM, you have your girls’ girl hat on straight. The key word here is “immediately.” If you genuinely see a romantic future with Lucy’s ex and don’t see a long-lasting friendship with Lucy, you could respond to the DM — just not immediately.
To prevent any awkward friend group drama, it’s better to ask Lucy straight-up if she would feel comfortable with you hanging out with her ex. This way, you can hopefully stay on good terms with Lucy and reevaluate the situation.
- Feeling LoveSick
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Okay, different night out: it’s just you and your best friend this time. You happen to run into your class crush, and you two start chatting. Sparks are seriously flying — until your bestie tells you she’s not feeling well and needs to go home immediately. The quarter is almost over, and you’re not sure if you’ll talk to your crush once you no longer have class together.
Is this your only chance to win your crush over? Could the cure to your best friend’s headache really be a solo walk home? Are you going to leave with your bestie or stay with your class crush?
If you’re leaving with your pal, you’re a girls’ girl. It’s a scary world out there: never letting anyone walk home alone is just girl code. Because it’s just the two of you, it’s important to make sure that your bestie gets home safely — especially if she told you she’s not feeling well.
If you stayed with your class crush, your bestie may (rightfully) be a little hurt. Sure, this could be one of your last chances to talk to your class crush before the quarter ends. But this is your ride-or-die best friend we’re talking about — are you really going to leave her alone for someone you’ve only known for 10 weeks?
A good middle-ground could be hinting at future plans to your crush before leaving with your bestie. Being a girls’ girl doesn’t mean you have to ignore everything you want for the sake of your girls — it just means knowing how to prioritize your female friendships.
- Big Dinner Plans
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Finally, you’re getting ready to grab dinner with one of your close friends when you get a text from your on-again-off-again situationship. This isn’t the usual Netflix and chill text: they’re actually offering to cook you dinner.
You’ve had these plans with your friend for a week, and she just texted you that she’s on her way to the restaurant. But you really miss your situationship — and they’re making your favorite dish.
You’ve been friends with this girl for years… she’ll understand if you flake on her, right? But is it worth cancelling on her when you’re both just so busy? Are you showing up to dinner with your friend?
If you’re ditching the dinner reservation, you’re taking a page from Carrie Bradshaw’s notebook. Don’t get me wrong: I love Carrie, but she’s not exactly the textbook definition of a girls’ girl.
It’s not fair to flake on your friend this late, especially when she’s already on her way. Plus, it’s better to show up for the people who show up for us consistently — don’t let your great friendship take a backseat to a situationship.
If you’re dining with your bestie, you take the cake as a girls’ girl. Your situationship probably doesn’t respect your time if they’re inviting you over so last minute, so it’s better to spend your precious time with your friend. Plus, your meal and conversation at the restaurant was probably wayyyy better than your sneaky link’s Trader Joe’s Cauliflower Gnocchi with a side of small talk.
After running through these three situations, hopefully you’ve gotten a better understanding of what it means to be a girls’ girl. Regardless of your exact definition of what it means to be a girls’ girl, let’s focus on what’s most important this Women’s History Month: showing up for our girls when it matters the most.