The first year of my twenties has brought forth an unprecedented amount of blessings, such as getting accepted to the school of my dreams, securing an incredible summer internship in my preferred field of work, making new friends amongst my fellow Bruins and growing closer to my family than ever before. Yet, with all of these amazing opportunities, my twenties have introduced me to the surprisingly painful reality of the decade: watching others accomplish the biggest milestones of life (especially when I’m not even close).
Social media has made the act of sharing accomplishments and celebrations as easy as pressing a few buttons and then hitting send, permitting us to witness the incredible highs of our fellow classmates, friends and family members. Fortunately, we all know people post their best life and not their real life, but unfortunately, this doesn’t soften the blow when we witness others getting engaged, having children or buying homes, especially when that era of our life is still years down the road. Therefore, it’s crucial to remember: there is not a set timeline to accomplish any of life’s milestones.
Trust me, I understand how discouraging it can be to have your Instagram feed bombarded with engagement announcements and wedding photos from the lifelong friends you grew up with, but their early blessings in life have no effect on the value and excitement yours will hold when the time comes. Everything happens when the time is right and not a second sooner, so don’t stress about your boyfriend not proposing after your three-year anniversary dinner, or about not having a boyfriend at all. In regards to love, you will date, marry and start a family with your soulmate when you are meant to — don’t rush into relationships or engagements out of peer pressure and feelings of self-pity, you may end up promising the rest of your life to the wrong person in that scenario.
In another realm, some people our age are beginning to graduate college and secure high-level jobs in their desired career fields with seemingly little hardship or difficulty. For example, an old high-school friend of mine finished her undergraduate education last December, while I am in the third quarter of my junior year (and yes, I still have an entire year to go before graduation). But instead of dwelling on her timely success and the long road I still have ahead of me, I’m choosing to focus on the opportunities in my life right now. With the conclusion of junior year, I will be beginning a summer internship that I couldn’t be more excited about, and on top of that, I get an entire year more to enjoy being in college with my friends! Stop taking the negative route and start focusing on the positives in life — also, be happy for others’ successes. Bitterness and resentment will only bring negative energy to your own life, and you certainly don’t need that.
Forcing yourself to stop comparing your life to others might prove extremely difficult as we are hardwired to look at others’ appearances, lifestyles and relationships as a way to determine whether or not we are worthy of social acceptance. But once we come to the realization that there are no set timelines for the expected accomplishments and milestones we cross in life, we will all be happier for it. If you get married at thirty, that’s just as amazing as your old best friend getting married at twenty. If you graduate college at twenty-four, that deserves just as much celebration as your roommate graduating at twenty-one. Life should be lived on your terms, so don’t ever let someone else tell you when and what you should be doing at a certain age. Embrace the opportunities life has offered you, you’re doing great and have always been deserving of that acceptance we all so deeply desire.