I have been a Halsey fan since 2014, and I could not contain my excitement at the release of her third studio album, Manic. This masterpiece weaves her two personalities (Halsey and Ashley) together into one personal narrative of love, loss and growth. Listening to it made me experience a rollercoaster of emotions, so here are some of my thoughts on the album:
- Ashley
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This song is the perfect entrance into Halsey’s manic mindstate. It gives off just enough Badlands vibes to take fans back to the beginning where the creation of the Halsey character all started. However, things are a little different this time: Ashley is writing about her experience as Halsey, rather than other way around. This song delves deep into Ashley’s true inner self and takes you through her tormented mental debate about whether the character she created for herself is authentic enough.
- clementine
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This song sounds like a sweet but melancholy greeting; Halsey is introducing her true self to her fans, where she talks about her bisexuality (“and the boys always call, and the girls do too”) as well as the states of mania and depression caused by her bipolar disorder: “I’m constantly, constantly havin’ a breakthrough / or a breakdown, or a blackout.”
- Graveyard
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I really felt this song because Halsey is describing a toxic relationship that she feels subconsciously trapped in because of how “in love” she is with the person. However, in the chorus, she reveals that “when you go down all your darkest roads / I would’ve followed all the way to the graveyard”, signifying that this “love” she feels is more of an unhealthy obsession that is slowly destroying her, so she finally makes the decision to leave.
- You should be sad
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This song is almost definitely about her ex-lover, G-Eazy, and she seems to be looking at their past relationship from a remorseful and pitiful point of view. She regrets being in a relationship with him and mixes feelings of pity with some truth bombs to call him out on his despicable behavior. However, she also states that she is so much happier and stronger now that it is all over: “I’m just glad I made it out without breaking down / and then ran so f***ing far.”
- Forever … (is a long time)
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I think this track is my favorite on the whole album. It has such powerful lyrics accompanied with a beautiful piano melody that transitions the song from major to minor key to show Halsey’s stream of consciousness when she is falling in love. She finds it beautiful, but then “ruins it” when she gets in her head and lets the paranoia and anxiety take over: “‘cause I could never hold a perfect thing and not demolish it.”
- Dominic’s Interlude
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This is the first interlude out of three on the album. It is barely over a minute long and features Halsey and Floridian singer/rapper Dominic Fike. Dominic enters the track with an auto-tuned version of his voice, raising the pitch and making him sound almost child-like. This could be a way to emphasize the ridiculousness of the situation. The lyrics suggest that he is speaking to someone who is in a toxic relationship and is urging them to end it: “he treats you cold and so mindless” & “talk to your man / tell him he got bad news comin’ / walk on the edge with someone new.”
- I HATE EVERYBODY
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Generally, when someone claims to “hate everybody,” it’s because they are frustrated with something that seems to have no solution. My interpretation of the lyrics suggests that Halsey seems to be conflicted with what love really is and what is just infatuation. She is frustrated with the idea of love and with the idea of wanting a happy ending so badly that she ends up loving the wrong people who do not always reciprocate her feelings and mistreat her.
She also directly confesses that she “hates everybody” because she cannot seem to love herself. She is reflecting her self-hatred and inner turmoil on the people she loves, and thus comes to the conclusion that she cannot love anyone. The song does end on a slightly hopeful tone when she states, “I just keep sayin’ I hate everybody / but maybe I, maybe I don’t.”
- 3am
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We all can somewhat relate to this song’s message because Halsey is pleading for a sign that she is indeed loved and cared for. Halsey has opened up about self-worth issues in the past, and here she is again, ripping herself open for the whole world to see that she, too, feels insecure at times. She sings about calling all her loved ones at 3AM to regain some feeling of security and reassurance that she is not alone in this world.
- Without Me
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Everyone knows who this track is about (and for those of you who don’t follow all the celebrity drama, it’s G-Eazy). Halsey released this song as the first single from her album, Manic, and it couldn’t be more fitting. This track unveils many of the troubles in her past public relationship with G-Eazy. Through the carefully crafted lyrics, she reveals that he cheated on her multiple times and that she regrets devoting so much of herself to a man who disrespected her over and over: “put you right back on your feet / just so you could take advantage of me.” Halsey idolized her partner, almost elevating him to a god-like status, and gave up much of herself in the process: “you know I’m the one who put you up there / name in the sky, does it ever get lonely?”
- Finally // beautiful stranger
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In this song, Halsey takes a different approach to love. She usually sings about love as being painful and terrifying (alluding to many past toxic and abusive relationships), but this time, she feels safe and secure: “but I think it’s finally, finally, finally, finally, finally, safe / for me to fall.” Fans speculate that this song is about her most recent ex, Dominic Harrison – professionally known as YUNGBLUD. The two dated for almost a year before separating, but they still remain friends.
- Alanis’ Interlude
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Here comes the second interlude of the record, featuring American-Canadian singer Alanis Morissette. This is an ode to Halsey’s bisexuality. This is a song of empowerment and sexual freedom, where Halsey explicitly describes some of her past relationships with both women and men. This collaboration was very meaningful because Halsey has looked up to Alanis as a role model and credits her for giving her the courage to share her identity with the world.
- killing boys
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This appears to be a vengeful break-up song. Halsey is over all the nonsense and heartbreak that her ex (again, probably G-Eazy) put her through and vows to seek revenge, hence the title. She even throws in a snippet of audio from Jennifer’s Body where Amanda Seyfried is trying to prevent Megan Fox from killing more boys, to which Fox replies, “Boys are just placeholders, they come and they go.” Halsey uses the theme of this horror film to demonstrate that she refuses to feel this terrible in a relationship again.
- SUGA’s Interlude
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This is the third and final interlude on the album, featuring rapper SUGA from the renowned KPOP group BTS. Halsey and SUGA both reflect on the internal conflict they have with their passion for music. Halsey does not know if she will always want to be a singer, and SUGA ponders if his music is achieving the goal he wanted it to, which is to help others heal. Either way, this song helps both artists realize that they are allowed to change as people and that their dreams can change with them.
- More
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This song is very heartbreaking and touching at the same time. Halsey seems to be pleading with the universe to grant her one wish, and that is to be a mother. That is something she has wanted for so long, but unfortunately, her endometriosis has caused her to have three miscarriages. Every time I hear this tragic lullaby, it brings tears to my eyes and reminds me of the unconditional love a parent has for their child.
- Still Learning
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Yet again, Halsey reflects on the state of her mind and how she views herself. This anthem of gradually achieving self-love really connected with me, and I can somewhat understand what she is going through. Many of us are on the road to self-love, and it is not always a quick process. This song reminds you that it is okay to take time to learn to love yourself.
- 929
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The final track in this masterpiece sounds like a freestyle stream of consciousness. Halsey mentions a lot of different people and events from her life in a therapeutic format; she seems to be ranting and confessing everything at the same time. Looking at the lyrics, the song seems kind of despairing, but it does end on a positive note, signifying that Halsey is still growing and learning as she goes through life.
All in all, I really love this album. It is so pure and raw and has some lyrics that really shake your being in the best way possible. This record is both a greeting and a reunion. We hear Halsey again, but we also hear Ashley for the first time; it is like two worlds colliding.