Thanks to movies such as Friends with Benefits and No Strings Attached, it’s no secret that a friend with benefits relationship is one of the most ironically complicated one of them all. While it’s an easy way to get all the physical goodies of a relationship, it also requires that both parties reject the emotional attachment that comes along with a committed relationship. Yes, it seems counterintuitive to some, but this can be an extremely fun and exciting arrangement for those with the right mindset. Despite some of the stories you might have heard, not all friends with benefits relationships have to end badly. Here are a few simple rules for keeping your friends with benefits relationship the way it should be–clean, simple, and drama-free:
1) Minimize the amount of time you spend together beyond hooking up.
One of the easiest and fastest ways to blur the line between hook up buddy and something more is when you start to get to know your hook up. When you start doing things together that begin to resemble dates, it’s time reconsider. Because pillow talk is one thing, but going out to dinner and a movie? That’s where things start getting complicated.
2) Don’t publicize it.
Sure, it’s great that you’re getting some right now and we’re glad that this arrangement has worked out. But it’s something that might be better kept a little under wraps. Nothing complicates a delicately casual relationship more than rumors flying around. Not only could it make things awkward between you and your FWB, but it could also put you in a potentially sticky situation with a guy you might actually want to date.
3) Don’t have any expectations.
If you’re going into this with the expectation that maybe your life will work out like the Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis movie, back away from the FWB and try to find someone that is in the same boat as you. If you have been romantically interested in your FWB from the beginning, things are not going to work out in your favor. More often than not, things will get complicated and you might just wind up getting hurt in the end. It’s just best to go into this without any expectations other than just having a little fun.
4) Understand that it is not going to last forever (or even for a long time).
It’s easy to get complacent when you have a guaranteed hookup at the end of every night. Don’t get too comfortable! While it is wonderful that you trust your FWB, becoming too dependent on the physical nature of it will make it very difficult when it is time for you and your hook up buddy to part ways. It’s important to remember to enjoy the company of your FWB, but it is also important to understand that this is not a substitute for a real relationship. Stay on the prowl, girl!
5) Make sure your FWB is someone you trust and are comfortable with.
This can be an exciting way for you to explore all the crazy fantasies you might have had. In order to take full advantage of this and to have the most fun that you can, it’s crucial to feel comfortable and safe with your FWB.
6) Pick a FWB that is attractive to you, but essentially un-dateable.
And no, I don’t mean go find someone that is unavailable or already in a relationship. Think back to the list of things you look for in significant other. Make sure that your FWB doesn’t completely fit that list or has something about them that wouldn’t necessarily make you want to date them.
7) Know when to bow out.
Uh oh…If you’re starting to feel those slight pangs of jealousy when he mentions another girl or if you see your FWB chatting up another cutie at a party, it’s time to end it before it gets worse. We understand, it’s just not easy to stay emotionally detached from someone you’re physically involved with. But, it’s always in your best interest to make sure you’re not going to end up hurt in the pursuit of a little fun.