It was the afternoon of my 18th birthday. I was sitting with my best friend in the waiting room of a tattoo studio. I’d been dying to get a tattoo ever since middle school — demonstrated by my meticulously curated Pinterest board dating all the way back to 6th grade — and jumped on the first chance I had to get one without my mother’s approval. But just a few hours later, I was crying over it.
Just to ease your mind: no, I did not get a skull and crossbones on my left butt cheek or a giant star on my forehead (though, if that’s what you’re into, by all means do it). It’s a hydrangea — my mom and I’s favorite flower — on my ankle, about two inches long and wide.
I did quite a few things wrong when getting this tattoo. Firstly, I decided on the basic idea of getting a hydrangea while en route to my appointment. I chose my design while sitting in the waiting room, where my best friend and I were frantically searching up “hydrangea drawings” in under five minutes. Then, the artist said he couldn’t do the design as small as I wanted or on the area I imagined, and because I was too afraid to speak up for myself or back out, my tattoo ended up being twice the size I had imagined and in a different spot than I originally wanted. I remember sitting in my bed that night staring at my tattoo and finally admitting to myself, “Wow… I really hate it.”
Almost two years and a couple of tattoos later, I can safely say I no longer feel this way about my tattoo. It’s almost like a reminder of a funny story and a different time of my life every time I look at it. And although it took some time to get to this point, I figured I’d share a few things I did and thought about when learning to appreciate the tattoo I hated.
- Cried.
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I felt really stupid after getting this tattoo. I went about it totally wrong and had multiple chances to back out, but I didn’t. I felt really embarrassed about ending up in this situation, and that feeling worsened anytime I told anyone about it. Even though I’d wanted a tattoo for a while, it was a jarring experience to get something permanent on my body. And it’s actually a pretty common thing to have a feeling of tattoo shock or regret! I let myself feel what I felt, reflected on the experience, and took it as a lesson for the future. So, to anyone reading this in the same situation as I was: it’s okay to feel the way you’re feeling.
- Let Time Do The Trick.
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After three days I knew I hated my tattoo and would get it lasered off. After three weeks I still disliked it, but was getting used to it. After three months I would pass by a mirror and suddenly remember I have a tattoo on my ankle. I remember staring at my tattoo over the first few days and picking apart every minor detail — that line is too dark, that leaf doesn’t look right, etc., etc. — and I can honestly say I have no recollection of these mistakes anymore. Putting something permanent on your body definitely takes time to get used to.
Caitlyn Somers - Reflected On My Experience.
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My logic after getting my first tattoo was, “if I get more that I really like, my bad feeling will go away!” So, I booked another appointment less than a month after my first tattoo, and to no surprise, I ended up bailing on it… And I’m really glad I did! By reflecting on what I liked and didn’t like about my tattoo and the experience I had, when I ended up getting another tattoo it was one that I knew I would like based on my taste and trust in the artist. And I love it — a little orange slice on my wrist!
All in all, my first tattoo experience was definitely not the best, which was nobody’s fault other than my own. But reflecting on what I did and thought to help me move past my initial discomfort, I can safely say that I turned this situation into a learning experience rather than a horror story. I don’t have plans on getting my first tattoo lasered off anytime soon, but I know it’s an option for me in the future if I really want to. Regardless of how you feel right now, I hope that these tips help you look at your new tattoo a little bit differently!