Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and with all the sweetly written notes, extravagant flower bouquets and tasty goodies, the holiday ushers in feelings of warmth and affection. Yet the idea of love itself can be daunting. How exactly does one define the term, love? Are we conditioned to believe that love can only be felt through certain ways? Does the environment we live in, and do the people we are surrounded by, affect our perception of how to give and receive love? With these questions in mind, I thought about my first memories of feeling loved. My father would take me to the golfing range on the weekends, and after several hours of hitting balls, we would go to Jamba Juice and sip on smoothies. Every morning during the week, my mother would bring a stool to the bathroom and she would have me sit down as she did my hair before I left for school. Such routines that my parents would consistently follow would allow me to feel their love, although I did not realize it at the time. As I recently reflected on these moments of love, they helped me to recognize what love means to me. I asked several other UCLA students to share their thoughts about their first memories of feeling loved, and these were their responses…
Joanne Park, a third-year Psychology major: “Growing up, my grandma watched me and my brother while my parents worked until late at night. She was the one who fed us, played with us and disciplined us whenever we would fight. She always chased us around with a fly swatter in attempts to get us to stop fighting. After, she would yell at us and we would cry. I remember my grandma would then leave the room, go to the kitchen, come back with a cup of orange juice and snacks to make us feel better. This would be really confusing to me as a 4-year-old but for some reason, it made me feel so loved and comforted. Something about Korean grandmas trying to shove food down your throat just makes you feel so cared for!”
Image Courtesy of Joanne Park
Sarah Kim, a second-year Biology major: “When I was younger, I used to ride my bike around my neighborhood with other kids. We would often go down to a creek and wade around in it. One day, I fell on some rocks near the creek and scraped my knees. I did not want to cry in front of my friends so I bit my lip and rode home, and then cried to my mom. I thought she would be mad because I should not have even been hanging around the creek in the first place, but she just sat me down, cleaned me up, gave me a snack and hugged me. Expecting to be disciplined but instead being comforted made me feel so loved.”
Kevin Ra, a third-year Sociology major: “One of my first memories of feeling loved was when my dad let me skip school because I really did not want to go. I was having a difficult week, and he gave me not only the physical but also the emotional rest that I needed.”
Image Courtesy of Kevin Ra
Hannah Lee, a second-year Ethnomusicology – World Music major: “The alarm would go off and I wouldn’t move a muscle. The lights would turn on, and my brows would just furrow. As if I was a princess, I would be carried to the bathroom. My eyes still closed, I would feel my face being splashed with cold water, my teeth being brushed and my hair being tied. This was my dad’s morning routine. He was the one who woke me up everyday and helped me get ready for school for thirteen years. He was so patient with me and I honestly cannot thank him enough, especially with all the trouble I put him through.”
Image Courtesy of Hannah Lee
Ryan Chung, a second-year Financial Actuarial Math major: “Growing up, I wasn’t really allowed to watch much TV or play video games. Or do the typical things that most kids my age would be able to do; there was a while when my family didn’t even have a TV at our house. However, the one exception that I had was watching a particular Korean variety show, where celebrities would listen to this song and try to memorize the lyrics and sing it by heart. While my parents were working, I would go with my aunt and my grandma to the VHS store/booth at the Korean market every Saturday morning since the new tapes would arrive by then. Then I’d go home with the new episode and watch, singing along with my aunt and my grandma. For some reason, this is a vivid memory in my head that always brings me a smile; I remember singing along to the songs and dancing to them, and just feeling happy. Despite the fact that my aunt and grandma had other things they could be doing, they would always take that time out of their schedules to watch this silly little show with me and laugh along whenever the celebrities would have to get a certain punishment for messing up the lyrics. They poured love onto me in this way, and it’s something that I will always be grateful for.”
Image Courtesy of Ryan Chung
Kaitlyn Tang, a fourth-year English major: “I remember when I was really young, probably like 3 or 4, I would ask my dad to sing me Cantonese nursery rhymes often. No matter how many times I asked, he would always sing them. My favorite one was about a chicken in the backyard.”
Photo Courtesy of Kaitlyn Tang
Yechan Choi, a first-year Pre-Communications major: “When I was a kid, I never really looked around to see when I received love. I took it for granted. But looking back, I can see a lot of times my parents loved on me, without me realizing. Whether it be my mom’s ever present plate of cut and peeled fruit, or my dad’s gentle pat on my head and kiss on my cheek when he thought I was sleeping, these are the moments of love I never recognized until now.”
Photo Courtesy of Yechan Choi
Megan Reusche, a fourth-year English major: “I can distinctly remember all of the times that my parents cared unconditionally for me when I was younger, and looking back, I would categorize those moments as the first time I felt love. I used to have a really hard time falling asleep at night, so my parents would read me story after story until I fell asleep. When I had nightmares, I would walk over to my parent’s room and stand by my mom’s side until she woke up, or I nudged her awake. She would walk me to my room and rub my back until I fell asleep again. Even though I would wake my mom up in the middle of the night or take up hours of their sleep, they never once complained to me about my behavior. They were always there for me when I needed them. That’s real love right there.”
Photo Courtesy of Megan Reusche
While Valentine’s Day may traditionally be considered a romantic holiday devoted to celebrating with your significant other, I could not help thinking about all the people who have shown me love thus far in my life. I was reminded of my roots, and grew a deeper appreciation towards the people who have continued to show me the most love in my life: my family. This year, I plan on taking the time to acknowledge and cherish the people who have always been present in my life. To the people who have taught me love, thank you. I love you.