When you fall in love with someone, you feel like you are in a safe place – you feel as though you will not end up getting hurt. You can completely trust the other person and see a bright future with him or her. When the relationship suddenly ends, you feel as though your entire world is falling apart. When this happened to me, I wanted to do everything in my power to fix it. I believed that my significant other and I were meant to be, and I felt as though my life without him would not be as happy and amazing.
Even though I cried for weeks and every little trigger that reminded me of him set off bad thoughts and emotions, as the weeks went on I slowly began to grow stronger and stronger. I began to realize: “Why would I want to be in a relationship with someone who did not feel as strongly about me as I did for him?” I began to realize that I did not deserve this treatment. Although he made me so happy at times, there was a lot in my life that I was missing out on. I felt controlled. I was unable to have guy friends, felt guilty going out and would skip out on plans with my friends just to wait for his name to pop up on my phone. As I realized that there was so much happiness and exciting adventures that I was missing out on, it became easier to get over him.
I made it my goal to begin to mend the friendships that I had jeopardized and started living in the present once again, rather than worrying only about my significant other. I realized that I need to focus on myself and strengthen my own life before I share that happiness with another person. Although I still love him and have feelings for him, I have met other people that have showed me great potential. It is possible to find someone else attractive, have a good conversation with him or her, and begin to feel comfortable with another person. Nothing is ever going to be the same, but you cannot make comparisons. You need to realize that it took a lot of time and effort to feel like your significant other is the one, and so you must be willing to invest that type of energy and attention into someone else in order to make it happen again. Don’t be afraid to try dating apps or have friends set you up. The only way you can realize that there are other guys with wonderful qualities, is by putting yourself out there. Once you begin doing the things you felt like you were restricted from doing while you were in a relationship, you will start to see that there is light on the other side. You will slowly begin to not think about your ex as much. Through my breakup, I have become a stronger person. Before, I used to rely so much on another person, but now I have come to a point where I know I can have a happy life without him. I know that I deserve happiness and I have realized that happiness will not come from a boy who did not want to put in the effort. I deserve better and so do you. If you are experiencing a breakup and the tears keep coming, just know that the light on the other side will take time, but it is possible to reach it. Focus on being with friends and family that support you no matter what. Focus on doing the things you were not able to do while you were in a relationship. Focus on yourself and what makes you happy. Happiness does not always rely on a significant other or a relationship, it should be an addition to the happiness that you bring to yourself.