Over the years, I’ve had friends and go for my life, but never just disappear. Until a couple of years ago, when my friend, whom I considered to be one of my best friends, completely cut off all communication with me. I had no idea how to react to the situation; it was confusing. All of a sudden someone I used to talk to every day was now gone from my life. Getting ghosted by someone you’re dating already sucks, but when it’s someone your friends with it’s even worse. It’s like going through a breakup in a sense, especially if it was a close friend. It can be difficult to accept the ending of a friendship that you thought would last a lifetime. Some people just aren’t meant to be in our lives forever. If you are struggling with dealing with a friend ghosting you, here are some ways to cope with the loss.
[bf_image id="wtwhfmk6gtmp3hg99q49f4jt"] When I was ghosted by my friend, I felt really alone and I started to get down on myself. I kept thinking maybe I did something wrong. I replayed every conversation in my head, but it didn’t make sense. One of the biggest things one has to realize after being ghosted is that it’s not your fault and there’s nothing wrong with you. A friendship is a two-way street, so all the blame cannot be placed on one person. When someone ghosts you, it often has nothing to do with you. Instead, it has more to do with the other person and what they may be going through. Sometimes people don’t know how to deal with their own situation, so they end up cutting off the people around them. That’s why it’s important to realize that it’s not on you. You may have said or done things you regret, but ghosting you does not mean you were a terrible friend or that you messed everything up. Everyone deserves supportive friends who don’t cut them off without saying anything. You deserve better people in your life that will stick by your side through thick and thin. You have to realize your worth and your value.
It can be common after being ghosted to want to seek closure or some type of explanation. However, it’s really rare to end up finding closure with the other person. Thus, you have to find closure by yourself. You have to accept that the friendship is over for a reason. If you talk to the person now, what’s going to happen or change? Probably nothing. It can be helpful to write out whatever your feeling in a journal and just let it all out. Let yourself feel all the emotions that come up. They are all valid and normal. The closure comes from within yourself when you finally accept that the friendship ended for a reason and that you don’t need that kind of person in your life. There’s no point in reaching out or starting a fight or anything. Eventually, it’s good to just accept that the other person is going through something and they just don’t know how to handle it. There’s nothing you can do anymore.
After you accept the ending of the friendship, it’s time to evaluate the type of friends that you want in the future. It might be weird to write a list of things that you want in a friend, but it’s so helpful. It will allow you to think about all the qualities that you value in a friendship and all the things that you don’t want. It can be hard to think about what’s important to you, but just think about the type of people that you want to surround yourself with. Maybe think about the values that you prioritize and try and find friends who align with similar values and goals. When you surround yourself with like-minded individuals, you’re bound to have healthier relationships that probably won’t end with someone ghosting you.
Just remember to keep prioritizing yourself. It’s okay to be upset after a friend ghosts you, but don’t allow yourself to get too wrapped up in it. Take care of yourself and do the things that make you feel good. Friends may come and go, so at the end of the day you are your own best friend. Treat yourself the way that you deserve to be treated.