You know that feeling when the plane takes off and instead of watching one of the four movies you downloaded, you instead look out the window for hours fruitlessly analyzing everything that went wrong with your last situationship?
Yeah, me too, sister. Here are five albums to accompany this “hurts so good” activity that I thought was an original experience until I saw people post about it on TikTok. If there’s one thing about social media, it’s that there is always going to be a stranger out there willing to validate even your most delusional behavior, and wow, thank god for that.
- NFR– lana del ray
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When someone asks me what my no-skip album is, my immediate answer is Norman Fucking Rockwell! by Lana Del Rey. This album single-handedly converted me into a Lana fan, and it’s always the first album I shuffle when I board a flight, regardless of my relationship status.
However, if you happen to be a scorned pseudo-cold girl type, or if you got tangled up with a Silverlake (or adjacent) beanie-headed character, keep listening. This album is for the girl that will feel way better about everything that went wrong with her situationship as soon as she listens to “Doin’ Time”, because it will remind her that she can be the next villain in someone else’s story. But, convincing herself she’s “evil” will become fruitless as soon as she gets to “Cinnamon Girl”, which will undoubtedly leave a closeted hopeless romantic like herself in tears.
If you’ve found yourself asking, “Is he just a man?” Or thinking to yourself, “I love her so bad, but she treats me like shit,” now’s your time to book the next flight out so Lana can validate every single one of your conflicting emotions.
- sos – sza
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The girl who plays SOS to reflect on her situationship? Oh, she’s pissed.
SOS is for the baddie who probably got on the plane in a matching sweatsuit and has one mission in mind for her next destination: stir the pot. Chances are, she was done dirty by her last situationship but has enough receipts that she could build an entire court case, and win.
But, as gals do, she has a soft side that comes out through baking, which she claims she does solely “because murder is wrong.” So, when midflight she finishes her third glass of red wine and arrives at the “Nobody Gets Me” and “Special” parts of the track list, it’s immediate waterworks for her.
- folklore – taylor swift
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Swifties know that this is a tried and true album for just about any emotion, but especially for reflecting on the one who once was supposed to be “the 1.”
If you’re the girl who has a copy of The Bell Jar on your nightstand or who thinks about Simone de Beauvoir’s quote —”On ne naît pas femme : on le devient”— every time you listen to “mad woman”, I’m sure I don’t even need to tell you that folklore is the exact emotional torture you’re looking for. You’ll probably choose a window seat so you have a reason to avert your eyes so your seatmate can’t see you cry. And if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that this mourning maiden will always skip “invisible string” because it’s reminiscent of her anxious attachment to the lover she’s currently running from.
- stranger in the alps – phoebe bridgers
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For any girl who listened to “Cornelia Street” during the crush phase of your situationship, I hereby prescribe you: “Scott Street”.Sorry in advance.
If you’re someone who happens to be battling much more than just a situationship, Stranger in the Alps is for you. This girl is possibly on the verge of abandoning all her material possessions, booking a one-way flight to Vermont, and dabbling in maple candy making and knitwear. Before she leaves for Vermont, however, she’ll probably go visit a distant relative in the PNW to feel something and meanwhile, will be convincing her friends that she’s never settling for anything less than a Julien Baker prototype.
Who hurt you!
- good riddance – grace abrams
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I’m convinced that Good Riddance was written for the girl you would never expect to be going through something because she’s just so chill about it. You can try to ask her about it, but you’re not getting anything out of this woman.
This girl is a “Do Not Disturb” setting enthusiast, and was looking for an excuse to put her phone on airplane mode and ignore her problems, so she just decided to book a last-minute flight. To cope with her own situationship, she signed up for multiple English electives and has since been writing amateur poetry that she stores in a locked iPhone Notes page — people are untrustworthy!
And while she may be the type to try to suffer in silence, her coquette bow is such a conversation starter that she’ll inevitably wind up spilling all of her secrets to a complete stranger in the airport bathroom.
Whether you’re a “Venice Bitch”, a “Gone Girl”, an “August”, a “Georgia”, or an “Amelie” in your story or in theirs, just remember that while you may be engaging in a liiiiitle bit of delusion, at least you’re not out here buying $29.99 plane Wi-Fi to break no contact. So, for what it’s worth, I say keep the in-flight tunes, tears, and good times coming.