At UVA, my brother gets handouts from the Asian American student associations. However, at UCLA, the Asian sororities handing out flyers on Bruin Walk don’t give me a second look. Due to the different manifestations of our genes and our geographies, it’s almost as if I am not the same race as my totally 100% related brother.
Growing up in a small town where everyone knows my dad, everyone knows I’m Wasian despite the blonde hair and blue eyes I got from my mom. I’ve always been proud of my Asian heritage in the same way I’m proud of my Irish and Polish roots. However, because of my physical appearance, my race is never assumed.
In no way am I saying that this is a bad thing. Instead of our mom getting asked where she “got my brother” from a passerby in the grocery store, she is asked “What self-tanner do you buy for Katy?” by other dance moms who don’t realize it is my natural skin tone. Instead of race seeming to be an assumed part of my brother’s identity, I’ve gotten the awkward “what race are you” question a few too many times from friends of friends and boys who think that’s an effective flirting tactic (bonus tip: it is not). This doesn’t necessarily negatively affect me in any way, but I’ve often found myself confused and stuck in a weird in-between of racial and ethnic identities. My dad and the demographic of my Pennsylvanian town have always softened the blow of this confusion.
I have become even more confused moving 3,000 miles away from my family where no one knows my dad or my brother (or my mom for that matter) and where there is a hugely prevalent Asian American community. After my race was assumed straight to my face one too many times, I asked my brother, “Rhys, I am Asian right??” He replied “Haha yes you’re definitely Asian” and sent me the link to this comedy skit. When I asked my mom the same thing she said, “Have you seen a picture of your grandmother recently?”
I’ve realized that my family heritage is whatever I identify with, even if it’s not explicit and obvious to a passerby. I choose to celebrate Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage month celebrating both my own culture and all of the other cultures that are included in the category. And, I choose to celebrate and identify with my grandmother, and all my other Asian ancestors, even though I am a hound of dozens of other ethnicities.