I’m done hiding in the shadows, full of shame, self-loathing and secrecy. I am ready to accept myself for who I am; someone who genuinely enjoys De Neve dining hall food.
How has it become so socially unacceptable to eat at De Neve? They’ve got it all — pizza, fried chicken, french fries (curly, sweet potato and steak cut!), a full salad bar, the best cereal selection on the hill and don’t even get me started on the soft serve ice cream bar!
Where did the feelings of lifestyle supremacy come from about disliking De Neve so much? Don’t get me wrong, UCLA has the #1 dining hall food in the country, and I know that’s not because of De Neve. And to be fully transparent, it’s not the highest overall ranked dining hall on my list either. But when I’m craving a slice of real, greasy, cheesy, doughy pizza, an artisanal whole grain beet puree flatbread from B Plate just isn’t going to cut it. But you know what will? A slice of De Neve pepperoni pizza, straight from the conveyor belt. (Fun fact, they use the exact same one as Domino’s — verified by my boyfriend who used to work as a Domino’s delivery driver).
I mean seriously, what other dining hall gives you the ability to make your own McFlurry? No hate to Epicuria (I would quite literally die for their Mediterranean Garden Salad) but the only flavors of soft serve being pistachio and raspberry is absolutely criminal. At De Neve, you get the classics that will never fail you, chocolate and vanilla, and you can even swirl them together in a cone like they would if you were at the county fair. No other dining hall has candy toppings like Oreo crumbles, M&Ms, whipped cream or Reese’s Pieces, when we all know that the toppings are the best part of an ice cream sundae or McFlurry.
Although they may not have my beloved balsamic dressing like B Plate does, De Neve does the little things right. They serve croutons and pre-cut chicken at their salad bar, instead of waiting ten minutes in line for a scrawny little thigh at B Plate, to then chop up yourself and add to your bowl. (Side note: is anyone else convinced that B Plate has changed their chicken this year, and it isn’t as good as last year? No? Just me? Cool, cool, cool).
Now let’s get into the ambiance and music selection, shall we? This became such a thing in my friend group last year that we even made a Spotify playlist called “Club De Neve” where we added songs whenever we heard them playing as we were eating our food. De Neve aux plays all the most random and niche 2000s bangers that you’d also find on a girly pregame playlist; none of those strange remixes like the other dining halls.
Lastly, De Neve is kind of like the airport — anything goes and there are absolutely no rules. When you step foot into De Neve, suddenly everything is socially acceptable. It’s 6 PM and you’re still drunk from Juquila’s bottomless or a frat dayger? Go to De Neve. Just walked thirty minutes home from campus in the pouring rain and now you look like a wet rat? Go to De Neve. Woke up at 1 PM still wearing all your makeup and clothes from the night before? Go to De Neve.
And although I’ll admit I am a B Plate girlie through and through, every once in a while we all just need a slice of De Neve pizza.