In relationships, conflict is unavoidable, and it’s actually something that can bring two people closer if they’re able to work through it appropriately. It’s funny that in an age where we can contact each other anytime, anywhere communication issues seem to be the thing that plagues many struggling relationships. In an article from Self, psychotherapist Laura Young says the number one problem in marriages is bad communication, and this strikes true for dating too.
Communication problems can manifest in different ways. Sometimes it involves one person expecting their partner to be able to “read their mind.” When their partner fails to meet expectations, they get upset because they “should’ve just known.”
Another example is when someone is afraid to speak up about something that bothers them. If an issue is never brought up, their partner will continue to make the same mistake, and they will become resentful. This will cause the couple to be more irritable, and they’ll be more likely to argue with each other. Without effective communication to work through these arguments, bitterness will continue to grow, and this will lead to a lack of intimacy and a growing sense of loneliness in the relationship.
Thankfully, there are ways to improve communication between you and your partner. A lot of it begins with having empathy for the other person.
If something bothers you, make sure to let your partner know. If you don’t say anything and expect them to figure it out themselves, chances are they’ll never resolve the problem. Of course, something that affects you will feel obvious, but your partner is an entirely different person. You’re unfairly expecting them to do something that they’re unaware of, and it’ll lead you to harbor resentment towards them.
Also when conflict arises, take the time to process your feelings before saying something emotionally charged that you might regret. If you have to, take some time away from your partner so that you’re able to process your feelings, but keep this period brief. You don’t want to give your partner the silent treatment as this will only exacerbate your communication issues.
Effective communication can be difficult to achieve, but it’ll be good for your relationship in the long run. The thought of confronting your partner might be daunting, but remember if they truly care for you they’ll be willing to hear you out and work with you to improve the relationship.