Uber is a luxury that we are lucky to have. It is a magical thing to have access to a ride in almost any location imaginable. If we didn’t have a car back in the old days, we had to rely on our parents, our very generous friends, or public transporation to haul us around. It is to safe to say that Uber has changed the world for young people everywhere. However, whether you have lived through them yourself or have heard about them through a friend, we are all too familiar with “bad” Uber experiences. Here is a breakdown of 8 types of drivers you may encounter, who will make you wish that you chose to walk instead.
1. The One Who Crosses The Line
An Uber driver who crosses the line may make suggestive comments about your appearance, ask you about your relationship status or suggest that the two of you see each other again outside of “business hours.” Ultimately, this type of driver forces upon you unwanted and suggestive advances when all you are trying to do is get to your destination on time. Since when did “confirming your destination” equal a “right swipe” on Tinder?
2. The One With The Personal Problems
This type of Uber driver has a lot of problems, concerns and stories about his or her own life that they, despite having just met you, decide to share aloud. If you have encountered this sort of driver, you may have heard about the driver’s marital issues, bestie drama, shortcomings or, if you’re really lucky, the driver’s own dreams. Though this may seem amusing at first, it can become a bit uncomfortable when they get emotional or go way too far into detail. Shoutout to my driver last week. I hope all is well with the change in medication, buddy. That rash will be gone in no time!
3. The One With The Friend
When you request an UberX, you expect one available shotgun seat and three back seats. What you don’t expect is only three backseats and two drivers. This type of driver likes to bring a friend while on the job. Not only does this friend take up a seat, but if you are riding alone, it also means that you are outnumbered in a car that is not your own. Red flag. However, in some cases, this “friend” may be an animal. Literally. Through a quick survey, I have found that the greatest amount of canine companions in an Uber at once, is three. Lint rollers and slobber towels not provided. Woof. Woof.
4. The One With The Rules
These drivers like their rules. Shoes off inside the vehicle. Unless sealed, all food and drink must be exposed of outside of the vehicle. Only enter and exit through the right hand side. No rolling down the windows. A safe and available parking spot must be acquired before allowing you to exit the vehicle. By the end of the ride, you will find yourself sitting with perfect posture and curtsying once you exit.
5. The One Who Entertains
Living in Los Angeles it is very common to have an Uber driver that is, loosely speaking, in the entertainment business. Only shortly after getting in a “hello”, the driver will tell you all the different commercials, advertisement and television shows they have “starred” in. They may describe their current stage of life as a “building” stage or an “in-between” stage that is necessary before their talent is discovered and their career launches off. If you get this driver, remember their face. You may see them in the back of the newest Netflix original for more than one second!
6. The One With The Funky Smell
If you have a sensitive nose, or even stomach, beware of the driver with the funky smelling car. You may find yourself sitting in the car wondering what exactly the smell is. Is it a type of food? WAS it a type of food? Does the driver smoke? Does the driver shower? Or, even worse, you might know exactly what the smell is. For example, you may take a painful whiff of some old food and then turn to find, surprisingly enough, that old food riding right alongside you. Though the smell is not always caused by the driver, they should know the limits of the human nose and make arrangements accordingly. Rolling down a window for a bit can make a world of difference.
7. The One Who Gets Lost
This driver is a true Christopher Columbus! However, I don’t mean this because he can discover your desired destination like Columbus discovered America. I call him this because, if Columbus were suddenly transported to 2019, much like your driver, he would not know how to navigate on a phone. He would be unfamiliar with all the streets, ultimately get lost picking you up, call you so you could navigate him to your pickup spot, get lost again on the way to your destination and elongate your trip entirely. However, unlike Columbus, your driver isn’t from the 15th century and therefore has no excuse.
8. The One With The Death Sentence
It never hurts to shorten an arrival time. However, it can hurt if, in order to get there, you must put your life on the line. Thus, “The One with a Death Sentence.” This driver drives with a sense of danger whether that be for the sake of a 5 star rating for shortening your arrival time, or simply because they like to live on the edge. Either way, this driver is the type to make your stomach turn and your life flash before your eyes. The stops are sudden and accompanied with the possibility of whiplash. The car comes to a near collision each time it cuts in front of another driver. Pedestrians appear to be a mere formality. And though it may stop an average person, honking does not even faze them!
Uber is a glorious thing. However, be weary of who you decide to ride with. Be aware of your surroundings and don’t hesitate to leave the car if things become uncomfortable. Your safety is always more important than your arrival time. Worse comes to worse, there’s always the bus.