As a little girl growing up in the early 2000s, I understood womanhood as one thing: the jazzy theme song of Sex and the City (SATC) barely audible over my mom blow-drying her hair.
Watching reruns of SATC was an itty bitty taste of being a grown-up, and I couldn’t help but come back for more. Tuning in to the happenings of my favorite four thirty-somethings was an activity even more chic than having a sip of my dad’s morning coffee or swatching red lipstick on my wrist at Nordstrom’s. I couldn’t wait for the day I bought my first pair of Manolo Blahniks and New York City apartment on a journalist salary.
When I turned 20, I decided it was finally time to sit down and watch SATC from start to finish. From the moment Carrie tripped on that sidewalk in front of Mr. Big, I was hooked. I normally struggle to binge-watch shows, but I breezed through SATC… and just like that, I was ready for a rewatch.
With SATC hitting Netflix this month, I’m hoping many of you will fall in love (or fall in love all over again) with my very first comfort show. Although SATC definitely has its flaws, I couldn’t help but wonder if we could learn something from each member of the Fab Four.
- Charlotte: Have High Standards, but don’t let your dreams blind yourself to what you really want
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I’m not going to lie — I definitely have a bias towards Miss Charlotte York. Some say that she’s too uptight, but I say that she’s just a girl who knows exactly what she wants. When the other girls look at her like she’s insane, Charlotte sticks by her goals and achieves her dream life with a perfect blowout and an “I told you so” smile.
With that being said, it is important to recognize one thing about Charlotte’s journey. I’m trying to avoid spoiling the show, so I’ll say this: Charlotte’s prince charming may not be who she expected, but she gets her happily ever after by turning down the volume in her head and following her heart.
- Samantha: If someone doesn’t see everything you have to offer, it’s their loss
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Samantha Jones could’ve written Hamlet, but William Shakespeare never could have fathomed, “If I worried what every bitch in New York was saying about me, I’d never leave the house.” I personally gave up on And Just Like That… after two episodes because I missed Samantha too much. Besides stealing every scene with her show-stopping outfits, Samantha is a refreshing reminder that we don’t need anybody else to tell us how amazing we are.
Although I’m not quite at her confidence level yet, Samantha redefined my perception of self-love by showing the world there is nothing more powerful than a woman who knows her worth. I’m also 100% sure that she walked so the “I don’t chase, I attract” girlies could run.
- Miranda: value your independence, but give yourself grace to be vulnerable
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Oh, Miranda Hobbes, queen of funky hair and even spunkier one-liners. I definitely relate a lot to Miranda’s take-no-prisoners work ethic, so I really appreciated seeing her gradually open herself up emotionally over the course of the show.
As women, it feels like we’re presented with two options: be strong and independent, or sensitive and dependent. Miranda proves we can have our cake and eat it too; we can pursue our career aspirations and still keep our hearts wide open to emotional connection.
- Carrie: The most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself
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I saved the BIGGEST lesson for last. And no, it’s not just adding “I couldn’t help but wonder” or “and just like that” whenever I can’t think of a good transition while writing.
Even though this lesson comes from something Carrie says in the series finale, I’m not exactly sure Carrie even truly learned it when all was said and done.
Although I’ve grown a lot since my first time watching SATC, there is one thing both versions of me can agree on: Carrie Bradshaw is the pinnacle of coolness. She has a fulfilling career, a fabulous wardrobe, a packed social calendar, and a solid group of ride or dies.
So for a woman who seems to have it all, why does she spend so much time sabotaging herself for a man who can’t truly appreciate how fantastic she is? I initially felt frustrated watching Carrie make the same mistake over and over (and over, and over, and over) again, but then I realized something. Beneath the great hair and iconic ensembles, Carrie struggles to find true peace within herself.
Just like the women of Sex and the City, we’re all chasing our own version of love. Though little love stories come and go, our big love should always be with one person: ourselves. When I think back on that little girl dreaming of living a life just like Charlotte, Samantha, Miranda, and Carrie, I can’t help but think of how proud she would be to see how far I’ve come today. And, well, that’s just fabulous.
Here were the lessons I learned from each of the Fab Four. SATC gave me not just a show to mindlessly binge, but a show to learn about womanhood from. If you haven’t watched the show yet, I highly recommend you check it out!