19 Things I Learned In My 19th year

Five days ago, I turned 20. This was a tough one for me, as it was a birthday I have been dreading for pretty much my whole life. There’s no good reason as to why, I guess I just always believed that “20” is what separates being a kid from being an adult. What I’ve come to realize is that there is no particular age that separates those two entities, because everyone gradually becomes accepted into the opposing realm at different points in their lives. What separates them is actually the achievement/absorption of some concocted and individualized mixture of maturity, knowledge and self-reflection. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t call myself an adult yet, but I definitely am well on my way to becoming a more self-assured human. In the past year, I learned a lot about myself, and at the end of the day I know that this highly introspective ability of mine is one of growing importance. Here are 19 things I learned this past year, including both deeply rooted truths and surface level information:

1. The friendships I have are so special, they should never be taken for granted. I’m really lucky to have such good people in my life that support me through thick and thin.

2. Mental health is so important, but it is also incredibly overlooked. It is essential to take time and seek advice if you’re feeling like you need it - there’s nothing wrong with asking for help.

3. I should work on loving myself more. I think I deserve it.

4. Chi Omega is a group of some of the most genuine girls I have ever known. I didn’t think I would join a sorority when I came to college, much less grow to love one. They are my second home and my second family. I am forever thankful for them.

5. Post Malone is my forever crush <3

6. My dad is my hero and my mom is one of my best friends.

7. Friends from home will always have a special place in my heart.

8. Having feelings is normal. Don’t ever let anyone put you down for feeling too much and too hard. It's a blessing - not a curse.

9. Buttered pasta will always be my favorite food and nothing will ever compare nope don’t try me...

10. Frats are overrated. Getting food with your friends is always the move ~

11. Nothing will ever move me the way a film can. Movies make me feel things that I cannot put into words, and nothing else in the world has the capacity to reach me that way. The combination of cinematographic imagery, editing and the music all together ignites something deep down inside of me and I want to dedicate my life to cultivating that feeling.

12. I would like to go on the Bachelor. You know, for the mems and the memes.

13. I cannot wait to live in New York after college. The east coast is my proud and wonderful home. I will forever be a little bit lost without it.

14. Being passionate about something - having a passion - is invaluable. If you have one, pursue it. Don’t let it dwindle away. Don’t lose it. It can be your saving grace.

15. You don’t need to be loved back to love someone.

16. Being introverted while simultaneously having your biggest fear be regret is nearly impossible to sanely navigate and overall simply a despicable combination.

17. I think my favorite food group is dairy; however, I am lactose intolerant. Another despicable combination.

18. When it comes to things that spark deep internal feelings, I am either too emotionally invested, like heart and soul deep, or I am too closed off and numb - there is not much in between.

19. I have incredibly accurate intuition, and I believe most females do. Use it wisely and trust your gut - you are smarter than you give yourself credit.

I am so lucky to be living the life I have been given, and 19, despite some hiccups, was a great year. So while my 19th year was amazing, my ~intuition~ tells me that 20 will be even better. And before I go, I just want to leave you all with one thing: aries season? The best season.