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Would You Like a Drink With Those Mixed Signals?

We’ve all been there, standing in a bar or club trying to have a good time with your crew, when out of the corner of your eye you catch a glimpse of what looks like a fallen angel. Your hesitant at first, a little overwhelmed by the beauty of the person, but your friends give you that boost of confidence to go after it. You make eye contact, they smile, you smile back, it’s on. Drinks are bought, shots are thrown back, and you’re having a great time thinking you’re making a serious connection with this person. Before you know it your racking up a bill that will hurt in the morning, but it’s worth it, right? Nope. You turn around for a moment and they’re gone. Left without a trace or a phone number to even hang your hat on. 

What’s that ladies you say this never happens to you? Oh that’s right it only ever happens to guys, just about every night we go out.

Now how could this happen? Is it possible that women tend to flirt to get what they want and take advantage of men on a nightly basis? Perhaps. Or maybe…no that is exactly what you do. But should blame be placed on you, as a woman, for just trying to have fun with the girls? I don’t think so.

You need to look at the atmosphere of a bar or club as a playground. Let loose, get a little crazy, maybe make some new friends in the process. It’s just the mentality that women and men don’t share when going out. Now don’t get me wrong, men can go out for just a good time and women can go out on the prowl, but more often than not the roles are played to a tee. Men love the chase and you know this.

I’ve been caught in the crossfire before, I think I’m making headway only to be left at the stool alone at the end of the night with a bruised ego. But I am here to let you know the art of the tease can be utilized by men as well. I can personally attest to this feat.

So how can a woman tell when a man, like myself, is out to get some free drinks and dip out on the conversation? It’s easy.

Usually I like to lead off with casual conversation, find a common interest, and take off from there. I let the girl believe I’m a little shy but still confident and that I don’t normally do “this” kind of thing. You as a woman are not used to a nice guy trying to talk to you in a bar or club full of inconsiderate men that you’re perfectly willing to take advantage of. So you take the bait, introduce me to your friends, I’ll buy the first drinks, but since I’m so nice your inclined to buy me shots as if I’m a close friend already. We talk maybe even dance but at the end of the night I’m not leaving with you, I’m ridin’ solo. But I got six shots out of it and your wallet is looking a little empty. You’re not used to it, being the one taken for a ride, right?

So how can you tell who’s legit and who you should avoid? 

  • Look for darting eyes, as if he is looking for an upgrade from you and your girls.
  • He’ll have an anticipation look on his face, looking like he’s taller than the people around.
  • The constant checking of his phone is also another tall tale sign that he’s looking for a way out.
  • One of my personal favorites, a long stare into your eyes followed by a slight smile and maybe a tiny bite of my lower lip.

Watch out for these things that I and other guys tend to do to flip the tables and work some free drinks out of you, and maybe you’ll keep those dollars for another night on the town with the ladies. 

And remember if you have something you’d like a straight answer about from a guy, post a comment and I’ll be sure to answer it. 

– Real UCF Guy

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