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Why You Deserve More Than What a Toxic Person Can Give

There are so many people in the world who deal with toxic relationships, whether it be a friendship, a relationship or a family member. Sometimes we don’t realize at first the effect that these people and their actions can have on us, but as time wears us down, we realize the negativity and the sadness that they bring. When you are in any type of relationship, sometimes it seems like it is easier to try to work it out and stay in it than to start over and find someone new or cut yourself off from this individual. However, at the end of the day, remember that you need to do what makes you happy and if that means keeping your circle small and focusing on yourself, then so be it. 

In this day and age there are so may different forms of toxic relationships: alcohol and drug abusers, people who are extremely selfish and give nothing, mentally and verbally abusive partners, domestic violence, people who bring you down, those that constantly play mind games, people who always fail to be there for you and so on. There is enough already going on in the world that seems negative and consequential without adding toxic relationships on top of that. A lot of the times, when we enter into a relationship we have a positive outlook and we tell ourselves that it is okay if they miss a few dates or come home late or don’t answer our phone calls. We tell ourselves that we always give more than other people so this is just normal, maybe this person is going through a rough time and they’re just taking it out on us because we are one of the only people there for them, but newsflash: you can’t excuse everything and not everything has an excuse. I’ve definitely come to realize that some people are just bad. 

It’s so hard for us to fathom that there are actually people out there that are just selfish, who don’t know what they want so they continually string people along and play on people’s emotions, but it is just so. Some people are simply negative and you can’t be the person to change them because in the process you will find yourself changing into someone who has no energy, no happiness and no positive outlook anymore. For your own sake and for the people who actually love and care about you, make sure to notice the red flags before it gets to be too late and please always remember your own self worth. 

It’s easy to get lost inside the world of a relationship that started out good but ended up sour, however, you should get lost within yourself instead of this other person who isn’t giving you as much as you deserve. If you are not 80% or more satsified with any sort of relationship that you are involved with, you have to consider the fact that it may not be worth keeping in your life. No matter what age, no matter who the person is, you need to consider how they are benefitting you and how you are benefitting them. Is this person bringing you up and adding to your already amazing outlook on life? If not, then they shouldn’t have the privilege of your time, body or commitment. 

Toxicity isn’t always obvious at first, but it’s not too hard to spot and if you begin to see the signs, it should be a reminder to reconsider where you are at in life and who you want to keep in it. Realizing your own worth and potential can aid in helping you decide who is important enough to keep and will help you in starting to distance yourself from any negative situation or person. Keeping those you trust and know that are there for you close to you in hard times will also help you realize that you have plenty of people who are willing to give their time and energy to you, unlike this toxic person. It’s easy to forget what you truly deserve, but in the upcoming New Year remember to prioritize yourself and focus on things that you love to do, instead of getting caught up in people who may not be benefitting you as much as you think and always remember to love yourself first and foremost. 

I am a writing and rhetoric major at the University of Central Florida and I really love tacos and pugs (the dog breed). I am a writer for Her Campus UCF and have been writing since I was eight years old :). My great grandfather won the Pulitzer Prize so I have some big shoes to fill.
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