The countdown begins on September 1st. Tumblr and Twitter are littered with pictures of skeletons, jack-o-lanterns, and other “spooky” things. 2017 got an extra kick because the 13th of October landed on a Friday. Everyone must adore this holiday, right?
Wrong. I absolutely despise Halloween. I’m not saying I don’t love dressing up and getting free candy as much as the next college student, but basically everything else about Halloween bothers and/or terrifies me. The entire month of October is just a giant nightmare. And here’s why.
1. Everyone becomes so judgemental. Your adolescent years are already filled with judgment from everybody – friends, family, even strangers. For some reason, on Halloween, this increases by tenfold. Whether it be a comment about your costume (“why are you wearing that, it isn’t sexy/scary/witty enough”) or your reaction to all things scary (“that wasn’t even scary, you’re such a baby”), Halloween always seems like a never ending cycle of comment after comment, judgment after judgment. And no one wants to ruin the mood and snap at their friends, so most of the time, we just withstand the torment. Being forced to keep my mouth shut about snarky comments that make my blood boil isn’t my idea of a good time.
2. Jump scares. I understand that some people get an adrenaline rush and love the feeling of being spooked. Some of us, however, cannot stand it. I just wanted some free candy from my neighbors, not a dark figure coming out from the shadows and grabbing my shoulders. It doesn’t just happen at haunted houses – normal trick or treaters can find themselves in these exact same situations, no matter how little scares they were seeking for the evening. Seriously, I just wanted some candy, why does that mean I want to feel like I’m about to be murdered? Turning pale as a ghost and my heart racing out of my chest is terrifying, not fun.
3. Children are on their very worst behavior. Don’t get this twisted – I LOVE kids. Absolutely adore them. But on Halloween, I understand why some adults opt not to have them. They don’t listen, always sneaking more candy than their parents allowed. They normally are with their friends and the mob mentality is evident. Sugared up and hyper, they are obnoxious and annoying, something I want no part of.
4. TV becomes a horror. I can’t turn on my TV during October. I have a constant fear of a scary movie popping up on my screen without warning – me, being easily frightened, is not prepared for that. I love my little friend Casper and Halloweentown is one of the best movies ever filmed, but outside of that, Halloween-themed pictures are not my thing, especially since they are on NONSTOP. If the entire month of February were dedicated to nothing but rom-coms, it would get old quick, would it not?
Maybe I’m just being a party pooper, maybe I just hate the idea of being so scared I nearly pee my pants. Who knows? This Halloween, I’ll put on my Minnie Mouse ears, take some selfies, and proceed to stuff my face with an endless supply of candy. If that isn’t Halloween goals, I don’t know what is.