We’ve all seen the glossy, camera perfect couple. They’re holding hands, giving kisses, looking as if they can’t get enough of one another. And then you take a closer look. The woman is older than the guy, earning herself the name cougar, and soon pictures of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher start popping up in your head as you wonder why so many guys go for older women.
After wondering myself, I had to ask a few to see what the trick was. Maybe we younger ladies could use it to our advantage after all.
One guy said that older women seem like they have everything together. They have money and that makes these women more attractive to guys naturally.
Another guy friend says that older women have a nurturing quality that younger women don’t have yet. He says that older women seem more like wifey material because of this more extensive maturity they’ve gained through years of experience that younger women are still building. He also said that this experience and maturity expands into the bedroom, which is also alluring to him.
Younger women, he said, have walls built up against men, fearing that men will use them, whereas older women are more apt to let guys in.
He went on to say that cougars have the money to keep up with themselves and are committed to looking good.
Another of my friends said that he’d be attracted to a cougar if she kept her body in shape and still looked good.
So what can us younger ladies take from all of this? We obviously are in college and don’t have the money or experience that naturally attracts men to cougars in the first place. We are still learning the hard lessons that will eventually teach us how to be sexy cougars later on. And many of us desire to be single until further notice, not quite the wifey quality my friend mentioned earlier.
I was doing some thinking after talking to the guys and what I came up with is honestly pretty simple, and yet severely lacking among many of the fabulous ladies I know…Confidence.
When you think about it, older women do have everything together. They know what they want and they get it. They’ve learned the hard lessons already and understand what it takes to truly earn the things they attain.
We can learn a thing or two from that. Just because we are in the process of discovering who we are does not mean we cannot go after the things we want even if it is in the moment. We should pursue what we desire, because doing so demonstrates to others that we feel we are deserving of getting what we want. That translates to onlookers as confidence.
I had a friend tell me recently that she makes sure she looks so put together everyday because doing so is like telling everyone else in the room that she respects herself enough to take care of herself.
Again that translates to onlookers as confidence. And just because we might not have the money to flaunt right now, does not mean we can’t still show guys whose boss. If we excel in what we love, whether that is in school, or our job, or even a club on campus, people (guys included) will most likely come under the impression that we do know what we want, and we do get it. That is an even better impression than money can give, in my opinion.
As far as the other nurturing qualities that my friend said he thinks that older women possess, I don’t see why we don’t all have it. Even if we don’t want a boyfriend or anything close to it for a long time, we can still look out for one another instead of throwing each other under the bus every chance we get. That might not be the exact nurturing quality mentioned, but it is a caring and valuable quality nonetheless.