'thank u, next': 5 Lessons We've Learned From Past Relationships

As a new era begins, we say goodbye to an old one. Ariana Grande recently announced that her latest studio album will be released on October 30th, and we are excited to see what she will be bringing to the table. Although she’s no stranger to providing us with consistent bops, she’s also no stranger to putting messages into her music. In thank u, next, the album and songs speak for themselves, but they also showcase a message. Past relationships should remain in the past, but the lessons they’ve taught us should continue with us into the future. I asked a couple of my friends what lessons they’ve learned from their past relationships, and here’s what they had to say.

  1. 1. Closure

    Woman sitting on top of mountain at sunrise

    "Nobody can give you closure. It comes from within. Closure is the decision you make from the what-ifs, the I-should-have-saids, and the why-not’s, when you drop them from your back. It’s the decision to make peace with your past, and to let it free you." — Emma Charlotte Young

  2. 2. Two-way street

    view from a windshield of the highway with a pink sky

    "Most relationships must be a two-way street. If one person does not put in any effort, don’t be surprised when the relationship ends. I've had so many relationships that I had to end because the other person got too “comfortable” and decided that they weren't going to put in any effort. After I ended the relationship, they turned it around and made it seem like I was a horrible person for ending the relationship without taking their feelings into consideration. So, if a person decides to not put any effort into the relationship, don't blame yourself for trying but not being able to support the relationship anymore." — Anonymous

  3. 3. Dependency does not equal love

    "All of the relationships we make as college students stem from having to depend on someone, whether it’s your classmates, roommates, study buddies and so on. In my past relationship, I was dependent on my partner. Over time, I started to realize how often I would depend on him for things. I started to go to other people about issues that I used to depend on him for, and I realized that our foundation was not built on the right principles. I went through phases of not depending on him and then going back to depending on him, and vice versa. It finally took the voice of those around me to show me that I had a stronger support system than I realized." — Mia

  4. 4. Communication is key

    Texts Guys Send Final Hero

    "It's vital to communicate your emotions, wants, needs and feelings to your partner, despite the way you think they might react. Sometimes it might be scary to communicate how you feel due to the chance that it might upset your partner. However, if you don't, you're not being fair to yourself. In my last relationship, I pushed a lot of my feelings into a corner in fear that my partner would blame me for how I felt, and it caused me to lose myself along the way. I felt as though my feelings weren't valid, which caused a lot of tension in the relationship. The thing is, I just assumed my partner would react one way and completely shut me out. Sometimes I wonder if I would've been more open about my feelings, maybe the relationship could've worked out. So, to all of you out there wondering how important communicating your feelings is, let me tell you from experience that with no communication, a relationship will never succeed." — Lola

  5. 5. Choose me always

    woman looking at her reflection in mirror

    "It’s so easy, when you’re starting a relationship or when you’re in a relationship, to lose yourself in order to satisfy them. You end up losing yourself to satisfy them in the long run because they’ve sucked you out of energy. You shouldn’t be draining yourself to fill up someone else. You should not take clothes off your back for anyone but yourself." — Krystal 

It's important to remember that the end of a chapter doesn't mean your book is over. Some people are in our lives for a reason, while others are only in it for a season. It's okay to look back at these past relationships and reflect on how the experience was for you and what you learned because of it. The lessons we learn from the people we encounter will shape and mold us. It's up to us to figure out what to do next with what we know. As Ariana Grande is saying goodbye to an era, so should you.