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So You Found Yourself a Man…But Lost Your Girls

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCF chapter.

In college, great guys are hard to come by. That’s unfortunate to say, but it’s the truth.  If you’re in a relationship, then good for you; if you’re in a healthy relationship, then good for the both of you. Although, healthy doesn’t always mean that you get along with one another really well. It could mean that you are completely obsessed and infatuated with each other. This suggests that you’ve created your own little world where only the two of you exist.  This may sound like I’m being a hater for a minute. In reality, I’m actually a rational person that is trying to help you realize that there are other people on this planet. These people happen to be your friends – or they used to be. I understand that you love spending time with your boyfriend and love being around him. We’ve all been there. I’m guilty of that myself. Now, there may be a few questions you ask yourself from time to time. You might wonder why you aren’t really close with your friends like you used to be, or ask yourself why they hate your boyfriend. I can give you the answers, plain and simple.

You and your guy have become closer because of all the time you’ve spent with each other. It’s good that you both have built a strong relationship. Unfortunately, while you were spending endless hours with your man, your friends were still hanging out and bonding with each other. Most importantly, they were bonding without you. One topic they most likely bond over is something you gave them yourself. They probably joke and wonder how you landed such a jerk of a boyfriend or how your relationship works. If the only time you call your friends or hang out with them is when your boyfriend is being a tool, then all they’re going to know about him is just that. If you want them to get along with him, or at least like him, then you need to spend more time with your friends and tell them about the nice things he does for you.  Such as the time he got you flowers for no reason, or brought you soup when you were feeling sick without asking him to. If you don’t have nice things to say about him, then that’s a big red flag, girlfriend. 

The solution to this problem is not complicated or complex. Find girl time. Your guy should want or have guy time, as well. Go out shopping with the girls while your man plays video games with all his boys. As if you really want to sit there and watch them anyway. You could even get ready for a night out with all the girls and go out with them, then have your guy and his friends meet up with the rest of you. A couple with a good balance between their friendships and their relationships is one that lasts. 

In the end, it’s always the girls that have your back. Think about the worst that could happen, something that almost feels impossible…you and your guy break up. Now you hardly have any friends and no man. Relationships come and go, but your girls should always be there.  If not, then you need new friends, but that’s a whole different story and a completely different article.