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Ranking Euphoria Characters Solely Based on What I See on the Internet

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCF chapter.

By this point, if you haven’t heard about HBO’s Euphoria, I truly congratulate you. I don’t know how you have escaped it, but you’re definitely in the minority. The gritty teen show has caused an uproar online, and even people like me, who have never even watched it, could probably tell you about a plotline or two.

I’ve been tempted to give it a try, but I personally don’t like shows that are too graphic, so rather than not enjoying watching it, I vicariously live through the tweets and memes that come out every week. I’ve compiled enough knowledge (I think) about the show and its characters to have opinions, so without further ado, let’s get into the rankings.

Disclaimer: These opinions are based on Internet posts, so please don’t hate me if you disagree.

Nate: 0/10

Usually, even the worst characters have some sort of redeeming quality, but this guy doesn’t have any. From being a physically abusive boyfriend to blackmailing Jules and then threatening to shoot Maddy, I can’t even begin explaining how someone can be this messed up.

Cassie: 1/10

If there’s anyone that still likes Cassie, how? She really decided giving up her friendship with Maddy was worth it just to be with Nate Jacobs. Overall, she’s a terrible friend and doesn’t have any sort of priorities. Cassie also gives me a terrible case of secondhand embarrassment, and this is solely based on tweets. I could not sit through an episode with her acting like this. She gets a single point from me because I also feel bad for her and she definitely needs help. 

Jules: 5/10

I think she looks like she’s nice, but from my understanding, she’s been really sidelined this season. Therefore, I also don’t have much of an opinion on her. I will say that I know she cheated on Rue with Elliot, so I definitely don’t like that for her.

Rue: 5/10

Even though she’s the main character of the show, I don’t really have much of an opinion on her. I really wish her the best in her journey to recovery from addiction, but that’s about it for her. She might be fun to be around when she’s sober, but my Internet knowledge doesn’t go far enough to be able to tell

Kat: 6/10

Kat is another character that got really sidelined this season, so I know little about her. From what I’ve seen, she seems like a cool friend, but I’m very upset about the way they handled her breakup with Ethan. She definitely deserves to have a proper storyline, where her character has a real purpose. 

Maddy: 8/10

I used to think she was just like the typical It Girl, but I think she’s one of the best characters on the show. She seems like she is a really genuine friend, and she deserves to have more happiness come her way. I’d like to also add that I’d support her if she were to destroy Cassie because it’d be fair after this season. 

Lexi: 10/10

There’s something about Lexi that makes her really likable to me. She seems to live in her own world, where she’s the main character, and I love that for her. I also have to give her credit for having the guts to write a play about her life and everyone in it: that was messy but hilarious. Every single time I see a post about her, I can’t help but think she’s great.

While I may not have the best or most accurate judgment on these characters, I still find it interesting how pervasive this show is. I mean, I don’t watch it, but I’ve been able to have opinions on them simply based on the weekly tweets I see. 

Ana Sofía Saavedra is a senior at the University of Central Florida, majoring in advertising and public relations. She likes to spend her time, making bracelets and headbands, watching TV shows, and obsessing over books.