An open letter to my beautiful mother,
Breathing.
A simple breath.
I know that it is actually something that I take for granted each and every day of my life.
I also know that it has been something I didn’t understand for a very long time.
Hospital trips have become the norm for Dad and I. It doesn’t frighten me anymore because I’ve become so used to it – I think that’s what actually frightens me. Countless medical bills keep adding up and I see the stress it puts on our family. I wish I could help in more ways than I could possibly think of. It just isn’t fair to see the people that you love the most and the people that have given you so much, go through something so awful.
I wanted to start off by saying that I am sorry. I am sorry for being ignorant to what has been going on your entire life. You never let your illness come in the way of you being a good mother to me and I thank you for that. You were there for me at every figure skating competition, every dance recital, horse-back riding lesson, swim lesson, fashion show, pageant, and the list goes on… But I am sorry for not realizing what was going on for so long. Now that I am older, I know that you need me now more than ever. I’m sorry for every argument that left you in tears. I’m sorry for every time I couldn’t just pick up my room because I was being an annoying teenager. I’m sorry for not spending more time with you when I know that I should have, or helping a little more around the house.
I also wanted to say that I owe you a million and one thank-you’s for everything that you have done for me. Sometimes I really do take it for granted. I really don’t say it enough. Thank you for the endless love and support you give. You are truly an inspiration to me and so many others around me. Your story and your life inspire me each and every day to be a better daughter, friend, girlfriend, student and just overall person. Believe it or not – you are my reason to keep pushing and keep working hard at everything I do, and I thank you for that. Without you, I wouldn’t have accomplished all of the wonderful things I already have and will continue to do.
The thought of losing my best friend is probably one of the scariest feelings in the entire world – actually no, THE scariest. Sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs thinking about why this has to happen to you, someone so loving, so caring, and so selfless? I know that I have to be strong though, for you and dad. I know that you will be strong too. This isn’t the end – it’s about to be a beautiful beginning that will end in the happiest place on earth. You once told me as a little girl, “If you can dream it, you can do it.” Ever since that day I’ve been living by that exact quote. With that being said, you CAN and you WILL do it. I’m counting on you, my beautiful mother of mine, and I’ll be here every step of the way.
Love you to the moon and back,
Your Daughter
If you have yet to read the story of Julie Zebrauskas, please visit our GoFundMe Page at:
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