The Most Cringeworthy Episode in All of 'The Bachelorette' History

Clare, I get it. Or at least I’m trying to. I understand falling for someone as dreamy as Dale — he’s tall, muscular, and has a face structure built from the Gods. His status as a former football pro definitely doesn’t hurt, either. After last week’s strip dodgeball scandal, I didn’t think it could get much worse. I went into this week hoping that we would finally have a normal, structured episode and see Clare get to know some of the other guys (besides Dale). This week brought us anything but that. From start to finish, it was a dumpster fire mess, but the kind you can’t take your eyes away from. So, let’s try to debrief and talk about the most shocking moments from what's stacking up to be the biggest trainwreck of a season we’ve had since Juan Pablo.

  1. 1. Yosef calls out Clare

    The episode starts with a confrontation that has been brewing since the start. The previews have been hinting at it, and I think we were all ready for the villain of the season to spew his evil monologue. Yosef definitely plays the role of being a gross, garbage human very well! I’m sick of both Clare and Yosef, so this entire conversation had me rolling my eyes at both of them. Yosef decides he is some sort of martyr (?) for morals, and for some reason, he yells at Clare that she’s not a good enough role model for his daughter. News flash! She is in no way responsible for your daughter, who you left to pursue a brief 15 seconds of fame. I wasn’t a huge fan of the dodgeball date either, but come on. Saying you needed to “wash your hands of this atrocity” is a bit much. Clare utters the iconic line “I didn’t settle for men like that” and makes her first (and possibly only) good decision of the night and sends him packing. Farewell! (Until we have to deal with his inevitable storyline on Bachelor in Paradise.)

  2. 2. Blatant Dale favoritism 

    This should come as a shock to approximately nobody. After her encounter with Yosef, Clare respectfully asks for the highly anticipated group date to be cut and to just skip to the cocktail party. This cocktail party immediately turns into a one-on-one date with — you guessed it — Dale! They cut to some scenes of them kissing on a bed for an uncomfortable amount of time, and when the cameras pan back to the other disappointed suitors, we learn that they've been gone for almost an entire hour. WHAT? Eazy goes off to find Clare and actually tries to do what he came onto this show for, only to open the door to a steamy Clare and Dale sesh. I actually had to close my eyes — that's how bad the second-hand embarrassment was. Clare is clearly annoyed that Eazy had the audacity to interrupt her time with her boyfri- I mean, Dale, and gives him about as much attention as a child gives their distant relative who they’ve never met. It was sad. Once he leaves, the producers try to convince Clare that she needs to talk to the other guys, to which she responds, “Let’s just hurry this along kinda quickly." So, the other men get their forced time, and one even gets interrupted by Dale who claims he got "lost" on the way to the bathroom.

  3. 3. Zach's one-on-one date

    Have you ever seen a mouse in a snake’s cage? This is pretty much what this one-on-one date was. Zach was a goner from the start. They tried to maintain cordial at best while on their spa date, but it was clear that Clare’s mind was somewhere else. Things go from bad to worse when Clare leans in for a kiss at the pool, pauses, then tries to run away. Zach is obviously confused; he tries to tell her he didn’t pull away and that he wants to kiss her, but he buries his own grave when he grabs her neck (!!!) and tries to physically pull Clare back in. This whole scenario culminates with Zach sitting alone at dinner when Chris Harrison eventually comes out to inform him that no, Clare wants nothing to do with you, and your time here is over. I’m thinking her strategy at this point is to send as many guys home as possible until it’s just her and Dale.

  4. 4. The roast 

    Hooray! Time for a real group date. This time, the clothes are staying on and the insults are coming out, because the guys are going to be participating in a good old fashioned roast session. Tensions have been mounting in the house (mainly everyone vs. Dale), so this is going to be a great way for the guys to let off some steam — and boy, they do not disappoint. All of the men make little jabs here and there at Dale, but there's one man in particular who did not come to play — Bennett. For lack of better words, he goes off. My personal favorite is when he says “Your speeches make no sense. Zing.” Yes, thank you for saying what everyone in America has been thinking! The audience and the guys are having a great time, but guess who is not? Clare. She's offended that the men have so many negative things to say about her precious fiancé Dale. No, I’m not exaggerating. She actually refers to him as her fiancé, which was the final straw for me (and most of the guys in the house, too). This is mainly because, after this group date (where no one even gets a rose), it becomes apparent that Clare is done pretending to be interested in anyone else besides Dale.

In a nutshell, this episode just boiled down to the fact that Clare has run out of any respect for the other men in the house. I love a drama-filled episode as much as the next girl, but this season has spun out of control and isn’t really The Bachelorette anymore. The only thing that could save this season is if they replace Clare completely and start from scratch, which…they're doing. The absolute saving grace of this episode came in the form of our beloved Season 23 contestant, Tayshia. She is shown rising out of the water, probably coming to save these men and this franchise. Hopefully, next week we will be back to The Bachelorette we know and love.