“But do you like me?” Lady Bird asks her mother after trying on numerous prom dresses and being unable to find one that fits the kind of appearance she wants and the one her mother carved out for her. It’s a question that may seem odd and a tad childish, to ask your mother of all people whether she likes you. But it’s a question that pops in your head often as a teenage girl growing up in a society that values validation and human connection.
Lady Bird came out during a time in my life where growing up felt like a nightmare you’re forced to run towards. I didn’t want things to change and to go to college without all my friends, but a part of me was wishing away that I could just pack my bags and leave the state and start afresh. “Where things have culture,” as Lady Bird naively stated.
Now as I wrap up my freshmen year in college, I rewatch Lady Bird as a way of healing. Lady Bird holds a sentimental value to me because even though I didn’t grow up in Lady Bird’s life (California, Catholic school, etc.), the movie holds a nostalgic need for belonging and genuine want that you don’t find in other movies. Lady Bird reminds me of days where you’re young and dumb and the only thing you care about is your friends and how you are perceived, and maybe even how your future might look. You argue with your parents because they love you, but sometimes not in the way you need them to. You argue with your friends because they understand you, but not in the way you want to be understood. And finally, you argue with everyone that tells you that you aren’t good enough and you prove them wrong.
Rather than stick to society’s standards or what her parents expect from her, Lady Bird creates her own identity and makes her own destiny. The movie implores that while everything ends, a new chapter begins; it’s one of the main themes in Lady Bird. While everything ends, everything also has a new beginning. The movie is about endings and what it means to grow out of adolescence and enter this new world of growing up and becoming an adult. It’s about missing your mom and being sorry for all the times you’ve fought. It’s about missing the way the traffic seems to stop in your hometown and the sun sets in a peculiar sort of way. Lady Bird is about endings, but it is also about beginnings and how hard it is to navigate the two while all these expectations are placed on you.
The story of being the girl with dreams and being the girl who wants what others have isn’t an uncommon trope. But adding the maternal tension and the dread of growing up and figuring out how you were going to run away from home felt like I was being heard. I was a teen just like that, I thought to myself after watching the movie. I wanted to get away and when I did it hurt to leave all I’ve ever known behind. Like Lady Bird, I went to college and I learned to create a new identity for myself while still holding on to the person I was before. And like Lady Bird, I will continue to be strong-willed and determined, but I’ll remember to always call home.