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Hilary’s Highlights: Bachelor Finale, St. Patty’s Day, and more!

If you just woke up from a one week coma, here is what you missed… you’re welcome.

 

Bachelor Finale

Juan Pablo has showed America that he is the world’s biggest older dude douche, for the last time. Yes, that’s right the Bachelor had its finale. The only one glad it’s over more than every woman in America, is Chris Harrison. You know that Chris wants to punch Juan Pablo in the face every time he has to talk to him. Juan Pablo picked, shocker, Nikki Ferrell. Even though he told Clare to her face, how much he enjoyed sleeping with her. When I heard him say that I was literally so disgusted, I didn’t think he could say anything worse, but he did. He later then went on to NOT propose to Nikki, OR tell her he loved her on camera. WTF THIS IS THE BACHELOR, F*KING JUAN PABLO. WE WANT TO SEE YOU SAY I LOVE YOU AND WE WANT TO SEE A RING, GD DAMMIT. Whatever, now The Bachelor is over and we can spend more time obsessing about how Andi is going to be the world’s greatest Bachelorette. She is so betchy and fabulous. Amen.

 

Miley Cyrus Rolls a Joint

Yeah Miley, we get it…you REALLY like weed, cool. You’re really not that original, newsflash Hannah Montana. You’re a 21 year old who likes weed, that’s like every other 21 year old in America. I don’t understand why she would post this. It only makes her look like even more of an idiot, if that was possible. She posted the picture with front man Wayne Coyne in the recording studio in Tulsa. I’m just confused why she thinks the world cares. Does she also want to post a picture of a tampon next time she gets her period?

St. Patty’s Day

Yes, it’s that time of year again when all UCF students pack themselves into the parking lot of Knights Library and drink copious amounts of green beer. IT’S ST. PATRICKS DAY! Knights Library had their infamous block party this past Saturday from 2 pm – 2 am. I was there where I watched at least 3 girls throw up in the bushes. *Insert eye roll* While St. Patty’s day is one of my favorite days of the year as a knight, it is also the worst!!!! I can’t stand throw up and the whole bar started to smell like it! Why do people feel the need to drink to the point of falling over in their own vomit that is GREEN?! AKA NOT CLASSY, PEOPLE. Thank gd St. Patty’s is only once year, because I don’t think I can stand to see green vomit any other day! Until next year, my fellow leprechauns.

Justin Bieber Deposition

Our favorite a**hole is back at it, again. Jmoney had his deposition on March 11th and TMZ has released a video of it where he argues with lawyers. Lawyers went on to ask the Biebs about his relationship with Selena Gomez and he replied in a hostile manner, saying “Don’t ask me about her again.” I’m surprised that the Biebs wasn’t down to talk about her with lawyers, considering he’s talked about her with everyone else. He has gone on Twitter calling her a princess and also calling her an alcoholic. I guess the Biebs is getting a little touchy recently about his “boo-thang.” The toxicology report found Xanax in his system when he was pulled over for drag racing last month. The Biebs was real quick to answer that he didn’t actually have a prescription for it…bad move Biebs. These charges could go to trial in Miami in the next couple of months. Maybe our prayers have been answered that Biebs will wear an orange jumpsuit, FINGERS CROSSED!

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