Situation: Your sorority’s formal is coming up and you finally splurge on that super cute dress from Express you’ve been drooling over since August. You’re so incredibly excited, because you’ve just recently started dating this guy, and now is the perfect opportunity to showcase him off to your girlfriends. As you’re standing in line waiting to purchase your newly acquired dress, you get a phone call from your hunk. You purposefully pick up on the third ring, so that the perfectly manicured bombshell in front of you just has to look down at your blackberry screen to see that “Baby<3” is calling you. After a few moments, he drops the bomb. His grandmother’s 90th birthday bash is on the same night as your formal. Your body tightens with anger and devastation, your eyes well up with tears and through clenched teeth you utter, “Oh…it’s okay, tell her I said Happy Birthday,” and throw your phone back into your purse. “Ma’am, will this be Credit or Debit?”
Options: Of course there are a few choices you have. You could:
a) Go to the formal with a girlfriend or your gay best friend
b) Completely skip out on the event, wallowing in self-pity with Lifetime movies and Ben & Jerry’s
c) Go with that reasonably nice guy who you study with for history class
The majority of us aren’t drama queens, and we’re probably going to go to the dance regardless of whether our beau is going or not, so option B is probably crossed out. Now you’re left with choices A and C. You know if you choose choice A, you’ll have a really great time with zero pressure, however if you choose choice C, there’s more of a risk…and as females, we thrive off of risks whether we like it or not.
So what do you do? Well for starters, you call your girlfriend/gay best friend to make sure that they’re available that night if need be. Then, you call your boyfriend. Prepare yourself, because this conversation is most likely going to get uncomfortable, and unfortunately there isn’t a way around that.
Scenario 1: You assure him that nothing is going on between the two of you, and he’s just a boy that sits next to you in class. You only talk via Facebook and don’t even have his phone number. But before you could finish your speech that you’ve prepared, he screams, “ABSOLUTELY NOT. DON’T EVEN GO THERE.”
Solution: Well, there you go. There’s your answer. I know you’re incredibly angry, because you feel like he doesn’t trust you. But at this point, I HIGHLY suggest going with option A, because now if you decide to choose C, you’re not only doing something that he doesn’t agree with, but you’re now adding more fuel to the fire and going behind his back which then creates a whole other set of issues.
Scenario 2: You give a similar spiel that you would have given in scenario 1, but this time you’re able to get all of your feelings on the table and your boyfriend listens intently. After a long hesitated silence, he says, “Okay. I trust you, and if you care about this relationship as much as you say you do, I know you won’t do anything to jeopardize it.” You are completely shocked, yet at the same time so proud of yourself for working up the courage to handle one of the many serious conversations you will have with someone you care about. Now you have the freedom to choose between A or C. Which one will it be?
Solution: You know that even though he says he trusts you, it’s still going to be a tiny bit uncomfortable for him seeing pictures of the two of you together on Facebook. And you know that if you go with choice A, he’ll probably have a much better time with Grandma, knowing that his girlfriend is safe and out of harms way. There isn’t one right or wrong answer; it’s just the way you see it.
Do you care if you make your boyfriend a little uneasy for a night? Or would you rather just get rid of all of this stress entirely, and just go with your bestie?
Me, personally, would choose the latter. Albeit, it’s great that your boyfriend trusts you enough to go out with some other guy to a sorority function, however if the tables were turned, I’d be glued to my cell phone for the duration of Grandma’s party waiting to see mobile uploads of the two of them, and then proceed to examine the exact position of his hands around her waist.
You know that he trusts you and that was such a huge step for him, so why make things rockier then they need to be between the two of you?
Trust your gut, and go with your gay best friend. Besides, he’s probably a much better dancer anyway!