When it comes down to the truth, it sometimes seems like the role of lust has taken the place of love. Is this an unfortunate causality of times changing, or are we simply creatures of habit, destined to repeat the mistakes that have been glorified in the media? My name is Vince, and I have personally felt that pursuing a relationship beyond friendship is a risky endeavor. The emotional struggle isn’t always worth the random moments of perfection. My track record is not that great, and I have been known to have a very particular personality. I worry to no end, speak out of context, and become so wrapped up in the peripheral distractions in my life that I lose sight of what is important. Despite all of these imperfections, I have been able to find people to love me, and I have been entertaining the question, what constitutes love? As my best friend Jessica would put it, “It puts princesses in comas, makes men fight dragons, and keeps pedestrian actresses’ careers alive”.
The question has been beaten to death for centuries, and with every passing year and passing fad, we conceive a different definition. Philosophically, love is something that we cannot help but feel because we we’re born with the innate ability to do so. Let’s be honest though; we’re in the year 2011, in college, and in this world, our ability to love is only second to lust. Earlier singers and songwriters have defined love as admiration, but the latest and most modern singers have defined love as something nonchalant. The question now is, what happened along the way that made love go from something to work for, to something easy?
The message that I want to convey to all of you is that sometimes a relationship is a risky endeavor because you can never tell who strives for one with good intentions. Those of us who have become wrapped up in the idea that a relationship is an all-too-necessary “must have,” might want to reevaluate their inner motive. Somewhere along the road, a relationship became an accessory, and those who became subdued by it are probably finding that it’s only making the plateaus harder to get over.
I sat back and wondered if maybe this was just me who felt this way. I decided to ask for a few more opinions. My roommate Luke told me, “Love isn’t something you go looking for; it kind of has to show up uninvited.” I asked my waitress at dinner last night what she thought of love in our generation, and her response was, “Well, I’ve gotten over the fact that chivalry is dead, but I don’t think I could handle watching the seriousness of romance disappear.” This definitely confirmed my theory that times are changing. I continued my quest for opinions by asking my friend Nicole how she regarded love in the year 2011. She said, “I think it’s kind of unconventional, because you don’t necessarily have to be in a relationship to love someone. I mean we idolize celebrities don’t we?” This is where we learn to distinguish between love and infatuation.
If there is one thing I have learned and believe that everyone will eventually learn, is that love is irresponsible. Love will break your heart in half and fill your heart to the point of overflowing. While interpretations may vary, the feelings are always the same. You feel like nothing terrible could happen to you ever again, and even if it did, you would still have this person whom you’ve glorified to be there for you. You can cut the vulnerability with a knife, and you can also feel the bliss from a mile away. Despite every nerve in your body making your heart swell with anxiety, you can’t help but smile because everything just seems petty compared to the ecstasy that being loved will bring you. It is stronger than any amphetamine and lasts longer than any buzz. To achieve this, we may have to return to interpreting love as something poetic and profound and not comparable to lust or the modern obsession with partying, drinking, and one-night stands.
My advice to all of you reading this would be to let yourself love, and let yourself be loved. Always remember to keep yourself grounded and never let love turn into a fantasy, because when you lose touch with reality, your expectations become anything but realistic. Do what you feel is right, use your judgment to the best of your abilities, and always remember that the solution to your love complex may very well be the person you meet tomorrow.