It comes in waves. We feel lost in ourselves for so many different reasons. There’s a heightened sense of it with all the unknowns college brings to us. I’ve been placed in this position where I’ve undoubtedly grown since the start of freshmen year, because life hits in spurts. Talking to my friends about it, I can see they feel it similarly: fear, anxiety and confusion at what the current situation in our lives is and where we’re supposed to be going. There is no blatant answer but there’s one thing that’s important to point out: We’re all going through the motions in trying to figure out which step to take.
These decisions needing to be made are sprawled out in such different categories, from major career choices and pursuing a love interest to deciding whether or not to join an organization alongside so much more. They all matter to us because they’re important decisions to make. They become overwhelming and confusing, so let’s talk about that.
I have found that so many times when a situation has affected me, much of these issues take everyone’s input in my life into consideration—from acquaintances and strangers to close friends and family. Where I go wrong is that I pay attention to the opinions of those who don’t know who I am as a person and judge from a distance. I’ve felt like a joke before because I was listening to the opinions of others, and essentially their biases, when in reality they have no idea what I’m like. Consolation and comfort have given me solace within my close friends and family. Though I’ve had this, sometimes you still end up overwhelmingly questioning a decision you made, an emotion you feel and the way that you are or act.
I’m still learning what growth means to me and my life. Each second we’re shifting into this new evolution of ourselves and we don’t even recognize it. Realizing the potential we have and understanding that there’s nothing wrong with the uniqueness we bring as a person is, ironically, one of the first steps we can take to continue to mature, grow and find ourselves. Even writing this seems silly, because it isn’t easy—we’ll continue to go through and become frustrated and confused at life. We won’t always feel this newfound confidence we might have because we’re human, we have emotions.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is that we all feel this at some point. It’s natural. Remind yourself that your decisions are yours to make and you shouldn’t let others determine who you are as a person and what you aspire out of life. Now, I say this all in a positive connotation—if you have a major you’re passionate about, pursue it. If you want to indulge in a new organization and make new friends, go for it. That spark you feel with another person, challenge it, discover that connection, no one else should stop you from finding that sort of romance. Pursue the things that make you happiest.
You are you. That is what matters.