If you’re in a relationship this time of year, you may be getting a chance to spend the holidays with two families, yours and his. Some of you may be excited to meet the parents and are already scrolling to your Pinterest board made especially for this occasion. Kudos to you ladies. But not all are ready to spend hours with mom without having a mini panic attack just thinking about it. The good news is that you’re going to be fine. Holidays are meant to be fun and if your guy is confident enough to have the people closest in his life meet you, well then you must be doing something right. But in case you need a little guidance, here’s a list of Do’s and Don’ts that’ll have them loving you in no time!
Appearance
Do stay true to your style. You don’t have to hide in a lumpy turtleneck to look modest and respectful. Just make sure that you’re polished and well-fitted. If you have a little punk in you, try a dark-wash jean with a fitted leather blazer. Bright colors more your thing? Liven up a neutral outfit with a bold bag or shoe. You can still express yourself while being presentable at the same time.
Don’t go overboard. On the other hand, this isn’t the time to pull out every trendy piece you own. A little goes a long way, so when it doubt, leave it out.
Manners
Do remember you’re a guest. Have a sailor’s mouth? Keep it in check. PDA with your guy? Save it for later. First impressions are hard to shake, and you don’t want to spend the rest of the relationship playing catch-up for that first meeting.
Don’t be nervous. This doesn’t mean that you have to remain silent the whole time for fear of saying the wrong thing. Show your personality, just don’t throw it all out there at once.
Conversation
Do your research. Hopefully, your guy has briefed you a bit on what his family is like. If not, find out some things you and his parents have in common, like a favorite sport or similar career choices. This way you’ll have something to fall back on during those awkward silences.
Don’t act like it’s an interview. Sure, you don’t ever have to carry the whole conversation, but don’t feel like you should only speak when asked a question. Speak up if everyone around you is talking. Brownie points if you can make them laugh!
Hot Topics
Do answer honestly. So maybe his parents asked you a question that’s a bit private to you, like where you stand on political issues or personal inquiries about your past. If you’re okay with answering, be honest. There’s nothing wrong with having an opinion, as long as you say it respectfully. If you don’t feel comfortable answering a question, that’s okay too. Just nicely tell them that you’d prefer to keep your answer to yourself.
Don’t get defensive. Whatever the question asked is, don’t instantly get angry and fight back. Keep your calm, respect their opinion, agree to disagree, and move on.
Family Matters
Do engage with everyone. If your guy has brothers or sisters, converse with them too. If they’re gracious enough to invite you into their home, act like you’re actually glad to be there!
Don’t compete with Mom. There are some boundaries you shouldn’t cross in a family, and that’s the Mom. You want to be her ally, not her competitor.
Appreciation
Do be thankful. Always make sure to follow up the visit with a hand-written Thank You note in the mail. It may seem old-fashioned but it speaks volumes. It’s also nice to bring a small gift when invited to their home. Flowers, a nice bottle of wine, or a gourmet box of chocolates is just fine. It’s really the thought that matters most.
Most importantly, remember to have fun. Meeting the parents doesn’t have to be a scary event. Remember that they once had to do it too! Just put your best foot forward, smile, and if you truly enjoying yourself, everyone else will too!