When you go to college, your parents become one of three extremes. They can act like normal people and keep in good contact, not contact you at all, or become unbearable.
If you are anything like me, the third option is what happened when you came to college. Some people say that your parent(s) care a lot about you and are just looking out for your best interest. But only you know the truth.
Of course, they do love you. But there is a time and a place where it can be taken too far. I love my mom more than anything, but she contacts me like no other! I bet if I looked at my phone right now, I would have five missed calls and ten text messages. She loves me, but as a collegiette, I need my space.
It got to the point where we would be on the phone for the third time that day and I would tell her that I had to go. She would literally make up things so she could stay talking with me. She would be like, “Wait, wait, wait…I know I have something else to tell you.” That something else was always nothing, and she even would admit it.
My first approach at dealing with the situation was flat out avoiding her. I am 13 hours away from home, so I thought that was a simple solution. Wrong! It made her call even more because she was constantly worried if I was okay. She would text me and say, “All you have to do is send me a letter to let me know that you are still alive.” As sweet as that sounds, it wasn’t.
I figured that if I kept ignoring her long enough she would get the hint. But then she would start texting my friends and my coaches to see if I was okay. I had brought the burden from me to them. So this solution obviously was an epic failure.
So, I asked my brother what he thought I should do (he is my half-brother so we have different moms). He said that when he went to college he would tell his mom that if he had to get off the phone, he would and his mom would just have to respect that. She cooperated, but my mom did not.
Some moms will be okay with that method, but if you are an extreme case like me, you have to dig deeper.
My friends would think that I was the biggest brat ever. My mom is genuinely a nice person and I would be in the middle of a conversation and say, “Okay gotta go,” then hang up. Then she would call back and I would hit the silent button over and over again. Sometimes I would yell into the phone, “Just leave me alone!” and hang up. You probably think that I am a brat now too, and I do not recommend doing that.
But I was desperate! Come on, you know how busy you get as a collegiette.
Finally, I figured out the perfect solution to my problem. I talked it out with her and explained to her how busy I was. I told her that it was not that I wanted to avoid her, but I have a tight schedule. We made a deal that I would call her when I had free time. I promised to call her a few times a week.
It did not make all of the calls go away, but life is a lot better now. I am not angrily yelling at her or getting as frustrated. I know she means well, so I have to treat her with respect. I must also treat her as an adult so she will see that I have become an adult as well. Once they see that you are grown up, they will worry less and respect your time more.