Remember that time you got left on read? Or maybe you remember the time you dropped everything to be there for someone? You may even shift your schedule around just to spend even a fraction of time with that one person. Maybe you didn’t get much in return and this person lacks the reciprocation you long for. Many of us have felt this way at some point and I find that there has been one key concept to help, whether it be in a friendship or a relationship. The Five Love Languages are the answer to solving your communication issues.
If you haven’t heard of the Five Love Languages, they are the various ways in which we personally feel connected to others through specific actions. The actual Five Love Languages are physical touch, quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation and receiving gifts. Each of these has their own definition and each matter so much!
1. Physical Touch
This first love language has much to do with the physical affection that gives one a sense of reassurance. Examples of this are hugging, holding hands, having a handshake and even having someone’s shoulder nudge yours at a point in time. Within a relationship, you want to have a certain level of physical touch because that’s what continuously helps you build a connection with the other person.
Personally, physical touch is my top love language. I had an experience where I would leave hints I figured were obvious, and in my mind I was screaming, “Just hold my hand,” but the signals weren’t enough. Within this, I realized maybe we both needed to discuss our love languages to further build a connection and understand each other better.
2. Quality Time
I don’t know about you, but whenever I switch around my schedule for someone else and they cancel, it makes me upset. They could have an important reason which is understandable, but sometimes there is no answer as to why exactly they canceled. To have quality time means to separate a period of time within your day to make the effort to hang out with someone for even five minutes. You could go to a park, have a picnic, do homework together or—’tis the season—go Christmas shopping together. Whatever it is, I know so many people just want to see you for even a fraction of time and they would appreciate it!
3. Acts of Service
When it comes to being in college, acts of service can mean the world to someone. Some acts of service to show someone you care could be washing the dishes for them, doing laundry, setting the table or helping them out with something important they can’t do alone. Those who have acts of service as their top love language find that someone cares through being helpful, especially when they are a stressed-out college student like most of us!
4. Words of Affirmation
Now, this love language surrounds itself around verbal communication. Words of affirmation can vary from a simple “Thank you,” to “Your outfit looks amazing,” or even “I love you.” Everyone wants to be thanked, complimented and hear that they are loved. Be sure to intertwine words of affirmation within your daily conversations—you never know who may need to hear it!
5. Receiving Gifts
For many, receiving something lets them know they are being acknowledged. If they are given a present they really love, they think, “Hey, they really know me and care enough about me to get me this.” It makes them happy that someone is able to take the effort to gift them something that they took into consideration. Take advantage of this love language this holiday season!
Each love language can overlap and each one is so important because they express how each person feels cared for and loved! Next time, talk about your love languages and use what you learn to communicate with others.
If you’re curious to see what your love languages are, check out this quiz.