4 questions that separate love and lust in college
College is often recognized as the notable stage of life in which young adults transition from the nest into the real world. Overall, college is a growing experience. You learn a lot about yourself. You make tons of mistakes in order to determine what you do and do not want. Through experience and observation, I can say that one of the biggest mistakes and life lessons in college stem from relationships (failed or successful). Often times it is hard to depict whether or not you are in lust or in love, or whether or not your bf/gf is in love or in lust with you. Here are 4 questions to ask yourself when separating the two.
Be honest with yourself
Honestly, how do you see your bf/gf? From the beginning do you even see a future with them? Are the only reasons you’re even giving them a chance is because they’re attractive? Do you override a lot of the things that you usually wouldn’t approve of because they’re attractive?
Is there any intimacy?
Is there a closeness/ friendships that the two of you share? Is there more than just a sexual connection? Is getting to the bedroom constantly the only thing on your mind when you’re with each other?
Is there any respect?
Do you feel any desire to respect your relationship? If boundaries are crossed, do you care about their feelings enough to apologize and not cross those boundaries again?
How is the Communication?
Do you actually hold real conversations or is the entire relationships based on fantasy? Is the communication effective or always dramatic? Do you trust what your bf/gf tells you?
All four of these questions are great questions to ask yourself when separating love and lust, considering that honesty, intimacy, respect and communication are all keys factor in a relationship. If no is your answer to every single question listed, you’re in lust not love. The next step is acknowledging and deciding what you want to do about it.