As Women, We’re Stronger Together

I’ve had it ingrained in me since the day I was brought into this earth that I was strong for a girl, I was smart… for a girl, I was witty… for a girl, I was down to earth… for a girl. It seemed like comparing me to the woman I stood beside and deeming me superior was the ultimate compliment. I never fully understood what that meant; was I supposed to feel lucky? The intention of those compliments was to make me feel as if this life was a competition – one that never ends. Every action I do gets evaluated alongside others to deem how I perform in comparison to the women in my life. Not only is it demeaning by saying that I’m “only smart for a woman,” but it’s insulting that anyone believes they have the authority to compare me to another woman, especially if their intention was to compliment me.

I’ve also learned that any woman in my life that has tried to tear me down most likely has internal issues of insecurity, whether that be self-inflicted or not. We live in a society that accepts this culture as a norm, which I find to be incredibly sad. The idea that I’d have to raise a daughter, niece, etc. in a world that is plotting against her hurts my heart. On the opposite end of the spectrum, it restores my faith in all that is good. I believe that there is improvement in feminism, and that one day it won’t be a norm for women to bring other women down.

When I came to this realization that it’s the society we were raised in and it likely isn’t malicious, I became a better sister, a better friend, and a better system of support. It makes absolutely no sense to me why anyone’s accomplishments should be my failures. The truth of the matter is that there is no queen bee and there is no need for one. We don’t live in a society that requires there to be a hierarchy among us socially, and we are so lucky that we have the ability to support each other in every way possible. 

Our society tries to teach children societal rules that help men become nicer to women and appear more “gentleman-like”. Our society believes that one of the biggest issues is that men have to be respectful to women. Even though this is still important for women’s equality to live in a world where we respect each other (regardless of gender identity), I think what we are equally lacking is that women aren’t taught to respect other women, or at least not in the same way. It’s just never mentioned, because no one views it as a major problem.

I’ve had so many women in my life try to bring me down because they see any accomplishment as a threat, and it’s tiring. It’s tiring being the one brought down, and I’m sure it’s tiring being that angry. It’s important to recognize that this battle may be (and likely was) created by our society, but we do have a say in how we treat each other. A sister in your life accomplishing something does not belittle you, but allows for inspiration. Someone’s accomplishments should bring you pride that someone you know was able and is trying to reach their potential. As women, we need to be nice to each other, because I’m so tired of being so tired all of the time.

• feminism
• friendships
• relationships
• women
• Women's History Month