There are times where I feel like Queen of the social world.
There shouldn’t be any reason I’m not. I’m in my favorite place, with my favorite people, and I’m comfortable and happy.
However, I have to admit that sometimes I don’t feel like I belong, even if all the parts are in place. Like a stranger in my own territory. Why is this? Am I overthinking? Am I being too sensitive? For a while, I thought I was.
But later on I understood that these feelings are valid and not an “overreaction” at all. I’m not saying they will go away. I think even people who claim to be extremely outgoing and extroverted can feel this way on multiple occasions. But here are a couple ways to feel better about it.
Remember, this isn’t your fault, and neither is it anyone else’s. It’s tough to feel alone amongst friends, and you shouldn’t feel guilty for it. You should never change just to fit in with those around you. But that being said, neither should anyone else.
No one is responsible for your happiness and neither are you for theirs. While it may be nice of them to recognize that you’re feeling left out or awkward and try to loop you back in, not everyone will do this. If they aren’t intentionally leaving you out, then they shouldn’t be responsible for what you’re experiencing.
As harsh as that sounds, think about it like this. A person shouldn’t be accountable for something that they can’t control directly. Sometimes they might not notice if a friend is feeling left out, especially if they don’t say anything. But if they notice and/or a friend tells them, then it would be polite of them to do something about it. But this person can only do as much as they can; otherwise, it’s out of their control.
Odds are, someone in your group might be experiencing similar feelings. Know that you’re never alone and things aren’t always as they seem. However, knowing these facts won’t eradicate you of your feelings.
They will probably come up again, and in the most unexpected of places. Some things help ease these feelings and make me feel better, even temporarily.
I can’t speak for every situation, but if this is a common occurrence for you, ya might want to get some new friends… just saying.
But that is of course, up to you! In the meantime… to pick yourself up, think of times when you were out with people and you felt good. Think of that time when your classmate complimented your jacket, or a friend laughed at your joke. Or even spend some time being comfortable with yourself. Only you hold the key to your happiness.