I loved my first year of college. The ease of having every meal cooked and ready at just a quick swipe of a card. Living within walking distance of all of my friends. Going days without having to ever leave campus. Attributing my minimal amount of units to an effort to ease into college life. Going to my few classes, but also *sometimes* skipping to have an extended dining-commons brunch.
It truly was glorious.
However, nothing that simple can stay. Year 2 somehow approached (despite believing I would be living in the dorms for all of eternity), and things became a bit more complicated. Now, class is far less skippable. My journey to campus is a real-life commute rather than a quick walk, and I definitely cannot stop by home for a quick rest in between classes. Meals now consist of ingredients in the fridge that eagerly wait to be prepared by yours truly. In short, everything is more complicated.
Last academic year, I dreaded the day I would have so many responsibilities. However, now that I’ve lived a quarter of my new life, I realized I may be one of the people who thrive in chaos.
My life isn’t necessarily chaotic, per se, but I have taken note that on my more busy days, I am much calmer and more productive than on the days I have only one or two major tasks. My meals seem to cook themselves on days when I have back-to-back responsibilities, whereas on the days I have more time to cook, the task seems impossible (and normally results in breakfast for dinner).
This productivity trend is common — some people just work better under pressure. But I never considered myself to be one of “those people.” I always feared that putting too much on my plate would cause me to become increasingly more anxious with each added responsibility.
Even in high school, I had minimal responsibilities and commitments and, in a way, limited myself from getting involved in “too much” for fear that I would become too overwhelmed. I constantly opted out of commitments in an attempt to protect the free time that I valued so much yet did nothing with.
As I began to add more to my plate this past quarter, I found myself happier and more productive overall. My days are much longer and I have more responsibilities, but it forces me to create a work/play balance that I previously did not have. Because my free time is more valuable now, I actually use it doing activities I enjoy rather than mindlessly scrolling on my phone or thinking about nonexistent problems (though, of course, both of those activities still occasionally occur).
Reflecting back on my daily life last academic year and years prior, I realize I often allowed myself to focus on trivial things. I likely had similar or even greater levels of stress than I have currently, with the main difference being that I allocated the stress to things I now would brush over with an “Oh well!” I now also have less time to consider the “what ifs” and irrationally anxious feelings that seemed to previously control my thoughts.
I have since been able to add more tasks without feeling overwhelmed or having doubts that I can’t do it all (with limits, of course). Everything on the to-do list somehow always gets completed.
As I approach more and more daunting stages of life (i.e.: real adulthood), I am comforted by the fact that I have succeeded in so many different stages that had previously seemed impossible.