If you’re anything like me, being single has always been a lifestyle choice. It’s made us more confident, independent, and free to flirt at parties and social events.
Convinced I’d be eternally single and loving it for at least the next few years, getting a boyfriend this quarter has thrown me into a new and unforeseeable challenge.
The first few weeks of dating a new person will be a learning process. It’s scary letting them enter your world, and so here are a few pieces of advice I’ve absorbed from my own experiences and from my helpful girlfriends’ experiences on how to handle the transition.
1. Don’t be afraid of the label
Many single women are undeniably afraid of the dreaded label, ‘girlfriend,’ because they think (as I thought up until recently) that it takes away your individuality. I’ve slowly come to learn not to get too hung up on the label. Only you and your significant other understand the nature of your relationship, and the label only exists to put a name on something in the eyes of your friends and peers. It merely suggests a more weighted commitment to a relationship that used to be strictly casual. Your individuality will stand for as long as you allow it, but with a new partner by its side.
2. Tell yourself it’s okay to be dependent on someone (sometimes)
Single women are independent; they’re used to getting things done on their own and in their own way. Depending on someone for pick-me-ups when you’re feeling down or helping you with your groceries can be awkward at first, but it’s also really helpful—and not a reflection on independence at all.
3. Don’t overthink the future
In new relationships, it’s easy to start hypothesizing about the outcome of the relationship. While it’s healthy to take a step back and assess your interest in the relationship and current priorities, theorizing all of the possibilities for the future can only makes the present relationship less enjoyable. The future is unpredictable and uncontrollable, so it’s important to enjoy the present moments.
4. Embrace the change
Confusion about a new relationship will fade; familiarity and comfort will eventually take the place of ambiguity and fear. You’ll still remember how to be fun and carefree, but you’ll be doing it with someone important by your side. Remember to enjoy all parts of this new relationship, because you’re never going to be at this stage of the relationship again!