During my second year of college, I fell victim to one of the most unavoidable scams: having roommates. Yes, there is a reason why bad roommates are a common horror movie trope. After months of conflict resolution meetings and extended silent treatments, I decided that roommates would no longer be a part of my journey™ as a college student. So I sat down and reevaluated my finances and was eventually able to move into my own apartment. I have now been living alone for over a year, and while it has been a great experience, it has also forced me to reckon with some difficult truths.
Living independently essentially means that I am my primary support system. Roommates can often depend on each other to delegate cleaning tasks, purchase household items, and even pick up medicines in case someone is sick. Living alone means that you become the person who does all of these things and more. This is not necessarily a bad thing, as someone who has always been more independent, but it can sometimes feel exhausting when every task falls on you. I experienced this first-hand when I became sick a few weeks ago. Even during points when I was feeling extremely unwell, I could only rely on myself to take care of my apartment and purchase what I needed to feel better.
While living alone has taught me a lot about how to navigate difficult situations on my own, it also makes it more difficult to build connections with other people. When I lived on campus, I came into contact with a lot of other students and it was easy to plan meet-ups since there was more of a community atmosphere. Living in an off-campus apartment has an entirely different vibe, where most people tend to keep to themselves. With this in mind, it takes more effort on my behalf to plan outings with friends and stay involved on campus.
Even with these difficulties, I do not regret the choice to live on my own. It feels incredibly freeing to come home knowing that I do not have to deal with uncomfortable tension or coordinate when I want to have people over. There are also a huge number of miscellaneous benefits: never running out of fridge or cabinet space, never coming home to other people’s messes, singing and talking whenever I want, showering at odd hours, etc. These benefits may seem small, but they are all part of what makes living independently worth it for me. My experiences with roommates were traumatic, and living alone has gradually healed the parts of me that were worn down from having constant conflict with other people. While I am aware that living alone may not always be an option for me, it has allowed me to learn more about myself and my living preferences which I hope will carry on to any future living situations.
For those who have the opportunity, I recommend living alone for at least one period of your life. It is not always a perfect alternative to living with roommates, but it is a great way to develop self-understanding.