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Make New Friends, but Keep the Old

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCD chapter.

You’re in your third year of college, finally an upper classman.  You know where your classes are, how to successfully ride around the round-abouts, where the best food is, and you have plenty of friends to sit with in class.  At this point, you know which friend is best for every occasion–some are fun for going out, some help you stay productive, and some are best suited for those lazy nights when all you want to do is curl up and watch a movie.  You even have your best friends who are perfect for whatever mood you are in, whether you feel like hitting downtown or tackling that mountain of homework that has already piled up!  Although you love your friends, who couldn’t use more?

But the dilemma is: how do you make new friends when you already have friends to sit with in class?

No two people have the exact same set of friends.  Everyone has friends of their own, separate from your mutual group of friends.  Plan to meet up with a friend in a public place such as the CoHo, Quad, or Farmer’s Market.  Ask them to bring along some friends you haven’t met. (You have the option of also bringing friends or just meeting theirs.  Keep in mind, you want everyone to be able to talk, so you don’t want the group to get too big.)  This is a great way to meet people in a relaxed setting.  It won’t be forced or awkward because there is always something to do and people watching to enjoy.  Try to get the cell numbers of the new people you are with while you are still together.  Doing so in the middle of the activity makes it less awkward than at the end, when everyone is saying their good-byes and prevents the uncomfortable situation when it feels like you’re asking them on a date.  By getting everyone’s numbers, you are ensuring the fact that you will hang out with them on your own and get to know them better in the future.

Be by yourself.  People always surround us.  Sometimes it’s nice to just be by yourself.  This does not mean to shut yourself in your room.  You can be by yourself while still being surrounded by people.  Sit alone at a table or in a bar setting with an empty chair next to you.  You have just opened yourself up to the possibility of a new person sitting down and striking up a conversation.   

In the reverse, be assertive and sit next to someone who is sitting by themself.  In this situation, you are the one with the control.  You can choose only those people that you deem friendly, open, and approachable.  It is difficult to strike up a conversation, but what do you have to lose?  You never know what connection could be made just by saying hello.  Hint: Compliments are a great way to open up conversation and get people talking.  

Most of us were taught that interrupting others is rude and awkward; I think it’s a great opportunity to meet people!  If you’re in class or sitting near people in a public place, it is not impolite to apologize for interrupting and then interject.   Whether you have a story to tell, advice to give, or a question to ask in regards to the current topic, you will open up a discussion that can lead to a new friend.

http://dateline.ucdavis.edu/dl_detail.lasso?id=13020
http://www.sanfranciscodays.com/mission-18th/

Rachael Brandt is your typical collegiette. Her free time, you'll find her roaming the CoHo, nourishing her hourly caffeine fix or rocking out at the campus rec center in Zumba class. Rachael has interned at Acosta/Salazar PR firm in Sacramento, CA --working with politicians and interest groups to aide their campaigns. She now spends her days working at the Events and Conferencing Center, in hopes of saving up for the many goodies she hopes to acquire while studying abroad next year. After cultivating an obsession for Her Campus, she opened the UC Davis branch, and now serves as campus correspondant.