According to the Pew Research Center, the number of interracial marriages has been steadily increasing. I believe this can be partly attributed to society becoming more accepting and open to others’ cultural beliefs and practices. Especially among Gen Z, the conversations around race and culture are generally positive and uplifting.
When it comes to dating outside your race though, I realized there is a huge difference between talking about racial and cultural differences, and experiencing them first hand. It’s like how learning and understanding in theory is so different from hands-on experience. But what I thought interracial dating was like looking from the outside turned out to be pretty different from what I’ve experienced.
I thought that cultural and racial differences were things that couples had to “get over”. As if they were an adversary that needed to be overcome in order for an interracial couple to survive. With this idea, interracial couples were at a disadvantage. However, since being in an interracial relationship, I’ve learned how far from the truth it is.
This may just be a part of my experience, but when my partner and I talked about our family and childhood, we realized that we were similar. For example, both of us grew up in a family-centered culture. Family dinners, and extended family gatherings during the holidays or for birthdays were normal.
We also both grew up in religious households, so Sundays mornings were always reserved for church service. In these similarities we were able to relate to each other and had a better understanding of what kind of background we came from. This was surprising to me, because I assumed our race or culture would make it difficult to connect with each other.
Looking back, I was barely aware of these preconceived notions that I had. Perhaps they stemmed from the fact that I have been surrounded by people of the same cultural background, and our shared perspectives made it so easy to connect. From my past experience, I simply assumed dating within my own culture was more convenient, because there would be a shared understanding of the ins and outs of our culture.
And while this may be true to a certain extent, coming from the same cultural background does not make the relationship any easier, or more convenient. I’ve also come to realize the very real possibility that two people from different cultures can share similar experiences, just like my partner and I have.
Additionally, it can also be so much fun learning about a new culture. I remember the first family party I attended with my partner. The live band, the music and dancing made for such a pleasant experience. I learned more about my partner’s cultural roots, and in turn I learned more about my partner as an individual.
Regardless of background, every relationship requires clear and consistent communication, and commitment. Relationships are about two individuals coming together, and whether or not they come from the same cultural background, there is always so much to learn from one another as whole individuals, each with a unique perspective on life.