Disclaimer: Spoilers, please read with discretion.
The movie Past Lives centers around childhood sweethearts, Nora and Hae Sung, who were separated for decades when Nora’s family relocated to America. Once reuniting, they found there was still a connection, but both had grown too far apart to realistically be together. The movie highlights the gravity of the choices we make, along with events that aren’t under our control, that can greatly shape our life trajectory. Unfortunately, I didn’t find this movie to be a tear-jerker for three reasons.
1. I don’t romanticize Past Life Connections
The climax of the film hit when Hae Sung and Nora had an intimate conversation about the “What-Ifs.” “What if we were partners in a previous life? What about being partners in a future life? What if we chose each other in this life?” It’s understandable why mature audiences would find this touching; many people have had deep, meaningful relationships that shaped who they are but could not be sustained. However, I believe it’s dangerous to romanticize the idea of past lives. There are many cases where people latch onto abusive partners, all because they “felt a spark,” and presumed there was a past life connection between them. There’s nothing wrong with the concept of past lives, but it makes no sense to be pondering over something with zero proof. How do you know how many past lives you’ve lived? How do you know whether your “soulmate” is truly your soulmate? If you find out they’re not your soulmate, will you love them any less? We spend too much time and energy fixating on something we don’t have memories of. You might as well live this life as though it’s the only one.
2. Our Lives Transpired the Way They Were Supposed To
I firmly believe in fate: that everything happens for a reason. The ending scene, when Nora broke down after contemplating life with Hae Sung, felt more bland than emotional, because marrying Arthur (her American husband she met at a writer’s workshop) seemed exactly how things were meant to occur. I can understand the heaviness of this scene for people who don’t believe in universal forces, but because of my beliefs, I didn’t find the premise quite moving.
The whole purpose of the movie was to highlight how one person’s life could’ve transpired so differently through just one choice; however, there are many things in our lives we have no control over. Sometimes, uncontrollable events are meant to happen to catalyze other events. Nora’s family emigrating to America played the largest role in weakening ties with Hae Sung, because after 20+ years of separation, she realized she couldn’t relate to him anymore. As someone who believes our lives are planned, I didn’t find much significance in the ending scene. Her marrying Arthur was the best decision, because it always was the correct decision.
3. Not enough dialogue
In Past Lives, I was skipping scenes every 10 minutes, because there wasn’t much beyond wistful stares out a window or zoomed-out clips of New York. Maybe there was deeper symbolism I couldn’t see, but as someone who values powerful words, I found the movie quite boring. Because of limited speech, I didn’t find Nora or Hae Sung interesting enough to appreciate them, despite them sharing a story many viewers could relate to. Maybe the movie intended to dial back on colorful personalities and prioritize a sentimental, simple plot. However, to connect with a character, we need more depth into their triumphs and vulnerabilities. That can’t be explained just through still shots.
I finished Past Lives, eyes dry as a desert, and thought, “Wow, am I really that heartless?” It’s difficult to enjoy romance movies, because I view love through a pragmatic lens. However, since the movie was marketed to make people sob an ocean, I expected the same reaction. I understood Past Lives was not made for me, but I still appreciate how it touched the hearts of so many viewers, especially those conflicted with lost love.