When I say “travel,” what are the images and words that come to your mind? There are probably beaches, shopping, vacations, sunlight, tourist spots, etc. It is all about fun! Besides those, what else are you looking for during your journey? Are you expecting an overhaul to your mindset? Leaving our familiar and comfortable homes and visiting a new country can make us gain a new perspective of the world.
Image source: Pixabay
My perception of relationships was surprisingly changed when I attended an exchange program in England a few years ago. We went to a local high school in Britain. We were accommodated to live with the local host family. Charlotte, the host sister, got along well with me and made a good impression on me as a well-behaved student. However, on a school day, I saw Charlotte and a boy head out of the classroom embracing each other, which definitely calls for punishment in my Chinese school.
I was shocked, as she just broke my good profile on her. After we got home, I went to her and looked around to make sure the host parents were not around us. I whispered to her and asked if she had a boyfriend or not. She said nothing but stared at me, and I instantly regretted saying anything… I could have kicked myself!
Thoughts raced in my mind, OH MY GOD, she must be upset. She doesn’t want anybody to find out her secret.
After an awkward silence, she burst into laughter and asked me, “Sure I do! Why are you lowering your voice?”
“Because it is wrong,” I answered, “and I’m sure you don’t want your parents to know about that!” She laughed harder and harder and told me her parents were indeed aware of this. I almost screamed, and I was amazed that I had misinterpreted the situation completely. My jaw dropped during the entire conversation. In fact, Charlotte and her boyfriend have been together for several months and her boyfriend even visited her home on weekends.
Image source: Pixabay
It sounded crazy to me because, since elementary school, I have been taught that “love” (either appreciation or sexual appeals) shall not exist between peers. We called that “puppy love” or a “crush”. Teachers would undoubtedly criticize us if they saw boys and girls talking, hanging out, or just having dinner together. Because of this, I’ve always considered those classmates as “bad” students because they had emotions for others.
As I grew up, I absorbed more experience and realized that China’s education system has long had a sensitive attitude toward matters of romance. We might say it’s a social issue because the society values and emphasizes conservatism. However, we have been brought up to learn that “puppy love” is evil and I was devastatingly certain of myself before Charlotte introduced me about the unbelievable “utopia” at her school.
Step by step, I converted my view when I looked at those kids in relationships. Maybe those students, who were suspended from school, should just have better control of their feelings in public.
Thanks to my travels in the U.K. as well as other travel experience, I have explored many possibilities in my life. Now as an international student, I hail from China and attend UC Davis. I managed to incorporate my real-life observations into my values and culture.