So the person of your dreams has just asked you to be his girlfriend. And now you are dying to log onto Facebook and change your status from “Single” to “In a relationship” so you can watch the number of Likes accumulate. But before you decide to share your happiness with the rest of the cyber community, there are a few reasons why you should consider not posting, or waiting to post, your new relationship status on Facebook.
1. There is no such thing as being “Facebook official.”
Some people buy into the idea that when you start dating someone, it would seem more official if it was posted on Facebook for everyone to see. First of all, I must ask WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? I’m pretty sure your relationship became “official” the moment you began talking/dating your significant other. If you feel the need to have your relationship status posted on a social network site just to prove to yourself and others that it is in fact legitimate, then I must ask you to consider what you think being in a relationship is all about. It’s one thing to want to share your new found happiness but another thing entirely when you need the validation of others and their “Likes” you hope to receive on your new status. If a relationship is supposed to be between two people, you undermine the preciousness of it when you feel the need to invite the cyber world to legitimize it.
2. Your Private Life becomes Public Entertainment.
Have you ever noticed when people change their status to “In a relationship” back to “Single” within a few days, weeks, or months? Or when they change their relationship statuses often? When I see that, I think to myself “Man, that didn’t last long” or “Wow, new relationship AGAIN?” Wouldn’t you hate it if people thought they knew what your relationship was like better than you do? When Facebook encapsulates your relationship status within 10 different categories to choose from (Single, In a Relationship, Divorced, Widowed, It’s complicated, Engaged, Open Relationship, Separated, Civil Union, Domestic Partnership) people begin to assume that these options are enough to explain the basis of your entire relationship when in fact, there is so more to one than what a simple drop-down list is able to convey. So when you update a relationship status or change it constantly, you simultaneously give people permission to make those kinds judgments about you, based solely on what they see pop up on their news feed. When you broadcast that kind of information, you have no idea how people will interpret it.
3. Can cause drama between you and your significant other
When one partner wants to change their relationship status and the other partner doesn’t, you can’t help but think “Why not?” which can lead to trust issues such as: “If he really liked me, why wouldn’t he want to show others we are together?” or “Maybe he is trying to hide our relationship.” However, if you two are always together, and hang out and make-out in public anyway, would it really make a difference whether your relationship was announced on your page? As if the fact you two spend a lot of quality time together isn’t an OBVIOUS indicator. And if people are so damn curious about your relationship status, you can always tell them.
When you want to show off your relationship without people knowing too much about your private life:
- Stick to photos and statuses. Photos and statuses are a great way to show off your private life without revealing too much information. You can have photos of you and your boo but not tag him or mention his name or write statuses about your lover with things only he would understand (inside jokes). People are able to see that you have someone or seeing someone, or that you enjoyed a fun date, without all the concrete details they need to be concerned with (or can use to gossip about you). And if you do that often, people will get the picture and KNOW you are involved with someone, regardless if they don’t exactly know who that is. And if things ever go sour, you can easily remove pictures and people would be less likely to question “What happened?” opposed to when they see a status popping up on their news feed that announces that you are newly single. Who needs those “I’m sorry” comments or Likes from people you barely know anyway?
When it’s okay to post your relationship status
- After a year or two. Since things are going so good, why not?