“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”
“When are you going to get a boyfriend?”
“Have you met any cute boys lately?”
These are seemingly innocent questions I seem to hear more and more these days– and not just from prying family members during the holidays. Some variation of a relationship-related inquiry finds its way into so many conversations I have had with friends and peers recently. While I understand the curiosity, I’m honestly over it.
Dating in your teen years and especially in your twenties is considered a typical coming-of-age experience. It’s safe to say that everyone is obsessed with falling in love– including me! I have always been a huge fan of romantic comedies, so much so that I can confidently say I have seen To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before over thirty times. I even consider myself a fictional couple connoisseur. Ask me my favorite fictional couples and I can totally name my top five.
Even so, life is so much more than romantic relationships with men. Not only do these types of questions imply that I am behind on the “getting a boyfriend” part of life, they are also incredibly heteronormative. The truth of the matter is not every college-aged girl is straight and that is completely okay. And some of us are simply single at the moment, and do not want everything to be connected to men even if we are attracted to them.
I might be called bitter for voicing my annoyance at my friend’s well-intentioned interrogations. But on a real note, I am truly happy for everyone who is experiencing love in college. Romantic love is an important part of life, but so is being single. It should be just as valued as being in a relationship at any stage in life. Hey, Beyoncé doesn’t have a song called “Single Ladies” for nothing!
So next time you are wondering about your friends’ relationship status, maybe ask them about another aspect of their life first instead. I promise, having a well-rounded conversation is a million times better than only talking about boyfriends.