I wanted college to be a fresh start. To move on from the past, I unfollowed everyone from my high school on Instagram during my first year of college. While I didn’t establish any close friendships during high school, I regret unnecessarily deleting all my classmates’ contact information. I could have used the pandemic to grow closer to my former classmates and had people to talk to about the struggles of virtual learning and lack of a normal freshman year of college. The pandemic was also a missed opportunity to sort out any disagreements over group projects or extracurriculars from the past couple of years.
Staying in touch has other benefits as well. You may feel uplifted by someone who posts inspirational quotes, or find out that you and a former classmate you rarely talked to have a common interest. Finding a shared passion would be a great opportunity to reconnect. By seeing digital glimpses of a former friend’s life, you may also feel at peace knowing that they seem content with their life.
Despite these benefits, unfollowing former classmates might be the right decision. Deleting people from your past off social media is a potential way to overcome remorse and adjust to college being your new reality. Everyone takes a different path after high school, so sometimes it may be best to accept that people are going to change. Simply double tapping photos on Instagram from across the country cannot compare to face-to-face communication at the same high school lunch table.
Looking at posts from former friends or partners can also elicit negative emotions. Seeing pictures of someone you were once close to may bring back a flood of memories, and asking yourself “What if” questions about what your life would be like if you went to the same college or still lived in the same city. If you are unsatisfied with your life, seeing others in relationships or traveling while you sit at home scrolling through social media may make you feel worse. Most of the time, people won’t even notice if you unfollow them, especially if you were never close friends to begin with.
While social media enables users to keep in touch with former classmates, maintaining contact with them is difficult. People are busy and move on with their lives. However, it may not hurt to make the extra effort to reconnect with someone if you think your life would be better with them back in it.